How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

POCKET THAT PHONE!
One last thing I should mention: technology keeps us connected—but it can also
undermine rapport if you let it subtly compete for your attention, however much
effort you’re putting into asking quality questions, creating a sense of in-group,
and using reciprocal disclosure. In a study by British psychologists, merely
having a phone visible on the table led people to feel less of a connection with a
stranger they’d been asked to talk to. They were less likely to agree with the
statement “It is likely that my partner and I could become friends if we
interacted a lot.”
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So if you’re keen to have a meeting of minds, put away your
phone and be fully present in the conversation.
B
UILDING
 R
EAL
 R
APPORT
For your next conversation where rapport is important:
Set collaborative intentions.
Set intentions that focus on improving
the quality of the relationship, not on your agenda. Check your negative
assumptions. Decide to find the other person interesting.
Ask quality questions.
Get really curious about the other person. Turn
some of your regular closed, factual questions into open questions that

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invite them to share their thoughts and feelings about a topic (and that
can’t be answered with a yes or no). Show that you’re listening by
following up with a “tell me more” about one thing they said.
Create a sense of in-group.
Look for points of similarity or connection
—shared goals, gripes, or interests—to create a sense of in-group that
means the other person’s brain sees you as friend rather than foe.
Use reciprocal disclosure.
If you’d like the other person to open up to
you, think about what you’re willing to show and share of yourself.