How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

WHEN SOMEONE ELSE SCREWS UP
We’re often dependent on people over whom we have no control, whether we’re
toiling away on a virtual team in a large organization or we’re a lone
entrepreneur working with an incompetent supplier. And it’s tough when they let
you down. Obviously, you now have a full set of tools for staying cool, moving
on, and coping with ambiguity—all of which can help you stay positive when
you’re at the mercy of others who aren’t delivering on time or as planned. But
you can also apply the tools from the last couple of chapters while you’re talking
to the person who’s messed up, to make it more likely you’ll both find a
workable way out of the mess that’s been created.
First, though, let me pull in some of the advice from 
Part III
. It’s often the
case that the person who’s screwed up is feeling embarrassed, worried,
combative, or all three. And that means they’re deep into defensive mode, where
their deliberate system—the one responsible for reasoning, self-control, and
planning—isn’t going to be functioning properly. You might think they deserve
to feel even worse than they do, but that won’t help if you need their intelligent
cooperation to find a good solution. So here are three ways to draw someone out
of defensive mode—or at least avoid pushing them deeper into it—if you need
them thinking sharp.
Acknowledge how it feels for them.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be
annoyed or upset, but you’re likely to make them feel less “triggered” if you
can signal that you understand they (probably) didn’t intend to cause the
problem that’s unfolding.

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Assume “good person, bad circumstances.”
Talk about the actions they
took to create the screw-up, rather than criticizing their character or morals.
So, say “You delivered this three days late for the second time” rather than
“You are always late and you are a terrible person.” (The advice in 
Chapter 9
on raising difficult issues may also be helpful here.)