How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

Situation 1: If you have a suggestion to make, connect your idea to their
own views and concerns.
• Share the facts of the situation. (Without expressing your own views just
yet.)
• Ask for 
their
reactions to what you’re describing.
• Then find a connection between their views and your suggestion: “Your
comment about [xyz] links to something I’m thinking…”
Greg, the crowdfunding entrepreneur, says, “Even when you’re desperate to
get your point across, it’s always helpful to first ask people about their views on
the issue you’re trying to address—in our case, shortfalls in medical research
funding—because it draws the other person into the discussion. It makes it much
less about me just going in demanding money, and much more about us figuring
something out together.”

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Situation 2: If you need help, ask for their advice first.
• Ask: “If you were me, what would you do to make this work?”
• Then, and only then, ask: “Is there anything you might be able to do to help
with that?”
If you suddenly present people with a request, it’s easy for them to feel
stressed about having too little time to do what you’re asking of them, and
people are less generous when they’re in defensive mode. Instead, try setting out
your challenge and then asking for their advice (to which you listen closely, of
course). By showing that you value their views, you provide a small social
reward that helps to put people into discovery mode, where it’s much easier for
them to feel like helping you. As the nineteenth-century political advisor Arthur
Helps quipped: “We always admire the wisdom of those who come to us for
advice.” And, crucially, the discussion allows them to reach their own
conclusions about the kind of help they can give.
Situation 3: If you’d like cooperation with something that’s fairly fixed,