How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life pdfdrive com

Technique 1: “What I Like About That Is…”
Tell the other person: “What I like about that is…” Give meaningful, specific
examples—more than one if possible. Aim for as many specific positive
examples as you can before you give suggestions for changes.
Then say: “What would make me like it even more is…”

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If this seems familiar to you, don’t skip over it too quickly. Most of us already
know that it’s helpful to say something positive before we relay criticisms, but
the details here make this far more effective than the usual “praise sandwich.”
The deliberate formulation of 
“What I like about that is…”
requires you to
give specific examples of the things you appreciate. This is really important, for
two reasons. First, it’s much easier for people’s brains to process and remember
specifics than to handle abstract ideas. Second, people are wired to be more
sensitive to threats than to rewards. Over the millennia, that hypersensitivity
undoubtedly kept the human race safe in the face of charging mammoths and
attacking tribes. The combination of those two factors means that if you just
make a general positive statement (“It’s great! You’re great!”) followed by a list
of specific things they should change, their brains will discount that splash of
praise and focus entirely on the negatives.
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So you need to be as tangible and
forthcoming in your praise as you are about your criticism; not just saying “it’s
great” but what specifically is “great” about it. That’s how you make sure they
hear that you genuinely value aspects of whatever they’ve said or done.
Then, when you introduce your suggestion for improvement with the phrase
“What would make me like it even more is…”
you’re framing your comment as
an idea that—if explored—could take the other person from good to great, rather
than something they were really dumb not to have done. You’re still making
your point, but it feels much less threatening to people’s competence and self-
respect than the usual “You should do this differently.”
Taken together, these two sentences greatly increase your chances of keeping
the other person in open-minded discovery mode as you give them feedback,
making it far more likely that you’ll have a productive and good-natured
conversation. The “What I like…” feedback style can help you, too, because
being forced to find something you like—however hard it is to find this golden
nugget—often reveals something useful that you might have missed had you led
with your criticisms.