Eight things this book will help you achieve get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new visions, discover new ambitions


Carl Rogers, the eminent psychologist, wrote in his



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(Revised) Dale Carnegie - How to win friends and influence people-Simon and Schuster (1981)

Carl Rogers, the eminent psychologist, wrote in his
book On 
Becoming a Person:
I have found it of enormous value when I can permit
myself to understand the other person. The way in which I
have worded this statement may seem strange to you, Is it


necessary to permit oneself to understand another? I think
it is. Our first reaction to most of the statements (which we
hear from other people) is an evaluation or judgment, rather
than an understanding of it. When someone expresses some
feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is almost immediately
to feel “that’s right,” or “that’s stupid,” “that’s abnormal,”
“that’s unreasonable,” “that’s incorrect,” “that’s not
nice ." Very rarely do we permit ourselves to 
understand
precisely what the meaning of the statement is to the other
person.*
* Adapted from Carl R. Rogers, On 
Becoming 

Person 
(Boston: Houghton
Mifflin, 1961), pp. 18ff.
I once employed an interior decorator to make some
draperies for my home. When the bill arrived, I was
dismayed.
A few days later, a friend dropped in and looked at the
draperies. The price was mentioned, and she exclaimed
with a note of triumph: “What? That’s awful. I am afraid
he put one over on you.”
True? Yes, she had told the truth, but few people like
to listen to truths that reflect on their judgment. So,
being human, I tried to defend myself. I pointed out that
the best is eventually the cheapest, that one can’t expect
to get quality and artistic taste at bargain-basement

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