21. Avocados
– Anything else?
– Okay… let me see those avocados in the back. Are they ripe?
– Not really. They’re a bit hard. What do you want them for? A guacamole or a salad?
They’re just right for a salad…
Neither. I eat them straight with some salt and black pepper.
My roommate taught me that in college.
Just like that, uh?
– Yep. And with some nice bread. French baguette would just do fine.
– How do you do that? You make an open sandwich or what?
–
No, you cut it open with a knife, take out the core, salt and pepper it
and eat it with a tea spoon. Very simple but very delicious.
Hmm… I should try it. You got me curious.
–
You won’t regret it. Trust me. You’ll get hooked just like me.
–
Oh. Okay. Thank you for your recipe!
– You’re welcome.
22. Sandwich
–
The roast beef sandwich, please.
– Half or full?
– Half, please.
– What kind of bread?
– What d’you have?
– Wheat, rye, ciabatta, French…
– French, I think. Yes, that one – it looks good.
– What kind of cheese would you like?
– Make it Swiss.
– Tomato, lettuce, pickles, onions?
– Yes, everything. Hold on. Do you have alfalfa sprouts?
– Let me check… yes, we do.
– Use alfalfa then, instead of the lettuce, please.
– OK. Mayonnaise or mustard?
– Both, mayonnaise and mustard, please. And black pepper.
– That’s it?
– That’s it.
– Next!
23. What’s Up?
–
Hey, what’s up, mate?
–
Not much, mate. Got myself a new computer. Have a look.
–
Wow! That’s fancy stuff! A real mean machine! A dual core processor and all!
–
It’s special designed for gaming. It’s a powerhouse. It’s got the latest everything and more.
Millions of real brilliant gadgets.
–
Cool, man. Where did you get the money? Rob a bank? It costs at the very least ten grand.
–
Fifteen K in a store near you. But for me, it was free.
–
No way, mate!
Or, maybe, Bill Gates turned out to be your long lost uncle and gave it to you as a gift?
“Luke, I’m your father! Here’s some small change for you…”
–
Not really. But, the Force was with me and this young Jedi got hired as a game tester.
–
A what?
–
A game tester. They pay me to test their computer games.
–
That’s loony, mate! They pay you to play? No way, mate!
–
Way! And, they gave me this computer.
I’m supposed to be giving them feedback on the games they develop.
There may be bugs in the software, and they pay testers like me to find them.
–
Does it pay well?
–
It ain’t bad for just sitting around and playing. I used to do it for free anyway…
–
May the Force be with you, mate!
24. Beam Me Up, Scotty!
– Looks like our buddy Steve got rich. Probably won the lottery or something.
I saw him drive around in a red Lamborghini the other day.
It must be worth at least half a mil.
– Yeah, I know. I talked to him yesterday and even had a ride in that rocket of his.
– So, what’s his story?
– You won’t believe it.
– Try me.
– OK. You know that our Stevie never in his life had a job.
So, he sits around all day in his underwear watching “Star Trek” and browsing the paper.
About a week ago he goes through the Auto Trader and he sees that ad.
A Lamborghini for a hundred pounds.
And being as stupid as he is he just calls the number.
The chap on the other side says “Yeah. Come over and bring the money”.
Stevie says to himself “What the heck, it’s only a ten minute drive, what am I gonna lose?”
You with me so far?
– Yes, I am. Go on.
– Let’s have a beer first. I had a tough day. Want a beer?
– Sure. Beam me up, Scotty!
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