Delphi Collected Works of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \(Illustrated\) pdfdrive com

BOOK II.

OCTOBER 20.

We arrived here yesterday. The ambassador is indisposed, and will not go out

for some days. If he were less peevish and morose, all would be well. I see but

too  plainly  that  Heaven  has  destined  me  to  severe  trials;  but  courage!  a  light

heart may bear anything. A light heart!  I smile to find such a word  proceeding

from my pen. A little more lightheartedness would render me the happiest being

under the sun. But must I despair of my talents and faculties, whilst others of far

inferior  abilities  parade  before  me  with  the  utmost  self-satisfaction?  Gracious

Providence, to whom I owe all my powers, why didst thou not withhold some of

those  blessings  I  possess,  and  substitute  in  their  place  a  feeling  of  self-

confidence and contentment?

But patience! all will yet be well; for I assure you, my dear friend, you were

right:  since  I  have  been  obliged  to  associate  continually  with  other  people,  and

observe  what  they  do,  and  how  they  employ  themselves,  I  have  become  far

better satisfied with myself. For we are so constituted by nature, that we are ever

prone  to  compare  ourselves  with  others;  and  our  happiness  or  misery  depends

very  much  on  the  objects  and  persons  around  us.  On  this  account,  nothing  is

more  dangerous  than  solitude:  there  our  imagination,  always  disposed  to  rise,

taking  a  new  flight  on  the  wings  of  fancy,  pictures  to  us  a  chain  of  beings  of

whom we seem the most inferior. All things appear greater than they really are,

and  all  seem  superior  to  us.  This  operation  of  the  mind  is  quite  natural:  we  so

continually  feel  our  own  imperfections,  and  fancy  we  perceive  in  others  the

qualities we do not possess, attributing to them also all that we enjoy ourselves,

that  by  this  process  we  form  the  idea  of  a  perfect,  happy  man,    —    a  man,

however, who only exists in our own imagination.

But  when,  in  spite  of  weakness  and  disappointments,  we  set  to  work  in

earnest, and persevere steadily, we often find, that, though obliged continually to

tack, we make more way than others who have the assistance of wind and tide;

and, in truth, there can be no greater satisfaction than to keep pace with others or

outstrip them in the race.

November 26.

I  begin  to  find  my  situation  here  more  tolerable,  considering  all

circumstances. I find a great advantage in being much occupied; and the number

of persons I meet, and their different pursuits, create a varied entertainment for

me. I have formed the acquaintance of the Count C — and I esteem him more

---

and more every day. He is a man of strong understanding and great discernment;

but, though he sees farther than other people, he is not on that account cold in his

manner,  but  capable  of  inspiring  and  returning  the  warmest  affection.  He

appeared interested in me on one occasion, when I had to transact some business

with him. He perceived, at the first word, that we understood each other, and that

he could converse with me in a different tone from what he used with others. I

cannot  sufficiently  esteem  his  frank  and  open  kindness  to  me.  It  is  the  greatest

and  most  genuine  of  pleasures  to  observe  a  great  mind  in  sympathy  with  our

own.