Delphi Collected Works of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe \(Illustrated\) pdfdrive com

CHAPTER XVI

When  Mittler  was  come  to  talk  the  matter  over  with  Edward,  he  found  him

sitting by himself, with his head supported on his right hand, and his arm resting

on the table. He appeared in great suffering.

“Is your headache troubling you again?” asked Mittler.

“It is troubling me,” answered he; “and yet I cannot wish it were not so, for it

reminds me of Ottilie. She too, I say to myself, is also suffering in the same way

at this same moment, and suffering more perhaps than I; and why cannot I bear it

as well as she? These pains are good for me. I might almost say that they were

welcome;  for  they  serve  to  bring  out  before  me  with  the  greater  vividness  her

patience  and  all  her  other  graces.  It  is  only  when  we  suffer  ourselves,  that  we

feel  really  the  true  nature  of  all  the  high  qualities  which  are  required  to  bear

suffering.”

Mittler, finding his friend so far resigned, did not hesitate to communicate the

message with which he had been sent. He brought it out piecemeal, however; in

order of time, as the idea had itself arisen between the ladies, and had gradually

ripened  into  a  purpose.  Edward  scarcely  made  an  objection.  From  the  little

which he said, it appeared as if he was willing to leave everything to them; the

pain which he was suffering at the moment making him indifferent to all besides.

Scarcely, however, was he again alone, than he got up, and walked rapidly up

and  down  the  room;  he  forgot  his  pain,  his  attention  now  turning  to  what  was

external  to  himself.  Mittler’s  story  had  stirred  the  embers  of  his  love,  and

awakened  his  imagination  in  all  its  vividness.  He  saw  Ottilie  by  herself,  or  as

good  as  by  herself,  traveling  on  a  road  which  was  well  known  to  him  —  in  a

hotel with every room of which he was familiar. He thought, he considered, or

rather he neither thought nor considered; he only wished — he only desired. He

would  see  her;  he  would  speak  to  her.  Why,  or  for  what  good  end  that  was  to

come of it, he did not care to ask himself; but he made up his mind at once. He

must do it.

He  summoned  his  valet  into  his  council,  and  through  him  he  made  himself

acquainted  with  the  day  and  hour  when  Ottilie  was  to  set  out.  The  morning

broke. Without taking any person with him, Edward mounted his horse, and rode

off  to  the  place  where  she  was  to  pass  the  night.  He  was  there  too  soon.  The

hostess  was  overjoyed  at  the  sight  of  him;  she  was  under  heavy  obligations  to

him for a service which he had been able to do for her. Her son had been in the

army,  where  he  had  conducted  himself  with  remarkable  gallantry.  He  had

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performed one particular action of which no one had been a witness but Edward;

and the latter had spoken of it to the commander-in-chief in terms of such high

praise  that,  notwithstanding  the  opposition  of  various  ill-wishers,  he  had

obtained a decoration for him. The mother, therefore, could never do enough for

Edward.  She  got  ready  her  best  room  for  him,  which  indeed  was  her  own

wardrobe  and  store-room,  with  all  possible  speed.  He  informed  her,  however,

that  a  young  lady  was  coming  to  pass  the  night  there,  and  he  ordered  an

apartment for her at the back, at the end of the gallery. It sounded a mysterious

sort of affair; but the hostess was ready to do anything to please her patron, who

appeared so interested and so busy about it. And he, what were his sensations as

he  watched  through  the  long,  weary  hours  till  evening?  He  examined  the  room

round  and  round  in  which  he  was  to  see  her;  with  all  its  strangeness  and

homeliness it seemed to him to be an abode for angels. He thought over and over

what  he  had  better  do;  whether  he  should  take  her  by  surprise,  or  whether  he

should  prepare  her  for  meeting  him.  At  last  the  second  course  seemed  the

preferable one. He sat down and wrote a letter, which she was to read: