Copyright 2001, Colin C. Tipping

‘What is
going on here?' 
Sometimes the message has to be-
come very loud, or the pain extremely intense, before
we pay attention. A life-threatening illness, for example,
provides a loud message. Yet, even when facing death,
some people don't get the connection between what is
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happening in their lives and the opportunity for healing
that it provides.
“In your case, what has come up to be healed this time
is your original pain around your father and the fact that
he never showed you love. That is what all your current
pain and discomfort are about. This particular pain has
arisen many times before in different situations, but,
because you didn't recognize the opportunity, it never
got healed. That's why having yet another opportunity
to look at and heal this issue is a gift!”
“A gift?” Jill questioned. “You mean it’s a gift because
there's a message in it for me? One that I might have
gotten a long time ago if I'd been able to see it?”
“Yes,” I said. “Had you seen it then, your discomfort
would have been less, and you wouldn't be going
through this now. No matter. Now is fine too. This is
perfect, and you won't now have to produce a life-threat-
ening illness to understand this, like so many people
do. You're getting it now; you’re beginning to under-
stand and to heal.
“Let me explain to you exactly what happened and how
it has affected your life up until now,” I said, wanting her
to understand clearly the dynamics of her current situ-
ation.
“As a little girl, you felt abandoned and unloved by Dad.
For a girl, this is devastating. From a developmental
standpoint, it is necessary for a young girl to feel loved
by her father. Since you didn't feel that love, you con-
cluded that there must something wrong with you. You
began to really believe you were unlovable and inher-
ently 
not enough
. That belief anchored itself deeply in
your subconscious mind and, later, when it came to re-
lationships, began to run your life. In other words, as a
way of mirroring your subconscious belief that you were
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not enough
, your life always has included actual situa-
tions exhibiting to you the fact that you were, indeed,
not enough. Life will always prove your beliefs right.
“As a child, the pain of not getting Dad's love was more
than you could bear, so you suppressed some of the
pain and repressed a whole lot more. When you sup-
press emotion, you know it’s there, but you stuff it down.
Repressed emotion, on the other hand, gets buried so
deeply in the subconscious mind that you lose aware-
ness of it.
“Later, when you began to realize that your father was
not a naturally loving man and probably couldn't love
anyone, you began to somewhat rehabilitate or heal
yourself from the effects of feeling unloved by him. You
probably released some of the suppressed pain and
maybe began to give up some part of the belief that
you were unlovable. After all, if he couldn't love any-
one, maybe it wasn't your fault that he didn’t love you.
“Then, along came the bombshell that knocked you right
back to square one. When you observed him loving
my Lorraine, that triggered your original belief. You
said to yourself, 
‘My father can love after all, but he
doesn't love me. It is obviously my fault. I am not
enough for my father, and I will never be enough for
any man.'
From that point on, you continually created
situations in your life to support your belief that you are