30 MOOCHIE WELCH
The night was dark, the sky was blue,
and down the alley an ice-wagon flew.
Door banged open,
Somebody screamed,
You oughtta heard just what I seen.
— Bo Diddley
The Thursday after thanksgiving was the last day of November, the night that
Jackson Browne played the Pittsburgh Civic Center to a sellout crowd.
Moochie Welch went up with Richie Trelawney and Nicky Biltingham but
got separated from them even before the show began. He was spare-
changing, and whether it was because the impending Browne concert had
created some extremely mellow vibes or because he was becoming
something of an endearing fixture (Moochie, a romantic, liked to believe the
latter), he had had a remarkably good night. He had collected nearly thirty
dollars' worth of "spare change". It was distributed among all his pockets;
Moochie jingled like a piggy bank. Thumbing home had been remarkably
easy too, with all the traffic leaving the Civic Center. The concert ended at
eleven-forty, and he was back in Libertyville shortly after one-fifteen.
His last ride was with a young guy who was headed back to Prestonville on
Route 63. The guy dropped him at the 376 ramp on JFK Drive. Moochie
decided to walk up to Vandenberg's Happy Gas and see Buddy. Buddy had a
car, which meant that Moochie, who lived far out on Kingsfield Pike,
wouldn't have to walk home. It was hard work, hitching rides, once you got
out in the boonies—and the Kingsfield Pike was Boondocks City. It meant he
wouldn't be home until well past dawn, but in cold weather a sure ride was
not to be sneezed at. And Buddy might have a bottle.
He had walked a quarter of a mile from the 376 exit ramp in the deep single-
number cold, his cleated heels clicking on the deserted sidewalk, his shadow
waxing and waning under the eerie orange streetlamps, and had still perhaps
a mile to go when he saw the car parked at the curb up ahead. Exhaust curled
out of its twin pipes and hung in the perfectly still air, clouding it, before
drifting lazily away in stacked layers. The grille, bright chrome highlighted
with pricks of orange light, looked at him like a grinning idiot mouth.
Moochie recognized the car. It was a two-tone Plymouth. In the light of the
maximum-illumination streetlamps the two tones seemed to be ivory and
dried blood. It was Christine.
Moochie stopped, and a stupid sort of wonder flooded through him—it was
not fear, at least not at that moment. It couldn't be Christine, that was
impossible—they had punched a dozen holes in the radiator of Cuntface's
car, they had dumped a nearly full bottle of Texas Driver into the carb, and
Buddy had produced a five-pound sack of Domino sugar, which he had
tunnelled into the gas tank through Moochie's cupped hands. And all of that
was just for starters. Buddy had demonstrated a kind of furious invention
when it came to destroying Cuntface's car; it had left Moochie feeling both
delighted and uneasy. All in all, that car should not have moved under its
own power for six months, if ever. So this could not be Christine. It was
some other '58 Fury.
Except it was Christine. He knew it.
Moochie stood there on the deserted early-morning sidewalk, his numb ears
poking out from beneath his long hair, his breath pluming frostily on the air.
The car sat at the curb facing him, engine growling softly. It was impossible
to tell who, if anyone, was behind the wheel; it was parked directly beneath
one of the streetlights, and the orange globe burned across the glass of the
unmarred windshield like a waterproof jack-o'-lantern seen deep down in
dark water.
Moochie began to be afraid
He slicked his tongue over dry lips and looked around. To his left was JFK
Drive, six lanes wide and looking like a dry riverbed at this empty hour of
the morning. To his right was a photography shop, orange letters outlined in
red spelling KODAK across its window.
He looked back at the car. It just sat there, idling.
He opened his mouth to speak and produced no sound. He tried again and got
a croak. "Hey. Cunningham."
The car sat, seeming to brood. Exhaust curled up. The engine rumbled, idling
fast on high-octane gas.
"That you, Cunningham?"
He took one more step. A cleat scraped on cement. His heart was thudding in
his neck. He looked around at the street again; surely another car would
come, JFK Drive couldn't be totally deserted even at one-twenty-five in the
morning, could it? But there were no cars, only the flat orange glare of the
streetlights.
Moochie cleared his throat.
"You ain't mad, are you?"
Christine's duals suddenly came on, pinning him in harsh white light. The
Fury ripped toward him, peeling out, the tires screaming black slashes of
rubber onto the pavement. It came with such sudden power that the rear end
seemed to squat, like the haunches of a dog preparing to spring—a dog or a
she-wolf. The onside wheels jumped up on the pavement and it ran at
Moochie that way, offside wheels down, onside wheels up over the curb,
canted at an angle. The undercarriage scraped and shrieked and shot off a
swirling flicker of sparks.
Moochie screamed and tried to sidestep. The edge of Christine's bumper
barely flicked his left calf and took a chunk of meat. Warm wetness coursed
down his leg and puddled in his shoe. The warmth of his own blood made
him realize in a confused way just how cold the night was.
He thudded hip-first into the doorway of the photo shop, barely missing the
plate-glass window. A foot to the left and he would have crashed right
through, landing-in a litter of Nikons and Polaroid One-Steps.
He could hear the car's engine, suddenly revving up. That horrible, unearthly
shrieking of the undercarriage on the cement again. Moochie turned around,
panting harshly. Christine was reversing back up the gutter, and as it passed
him, he saw. He saw.
There was no one behind the wheel.
Panic began to pound in his head. Moochie took to his heels. He ran out into
JFK Drive, sprinting for the far side. There was an alley over there between
a market and a dry-cleaning place. Too narrow for the car. If he could get in
there—
Change jingled madly in his pants pockets and in the five or six pockets of
his Army-surplus duffel coat. Quarters, nickels, dimes. A jingling silver
carillon. He pumped his knees almost to his chin. His cleated engineer boots
drummed the pavement. His shadow chased him.
The car somewhere behind him revved again, fell off, revved again, fell off,
and then the motor began to shriek. The tires wailed, and Christine shot at
Moochie Welch's back, crossing the lanes of JFK Drive at right angles.
Moochie screamed and could not hear himself scream because the car was
still peeling rubber, the car was still shrieking like an insanely angry,
murderous woman, and that shriek filled the world.
His shadow was no longer chasing him. It was leading him and getting
longer. In the window of the dry-cleaning shop he saw great yellow eyes
blossom.
It wasn't even close.
At the very last moment Moochie tried to jig left, but Christine jigged with
him as if she had read his final desperate thought. The Plymouth hit him
squarely, still accelerating, breaking Moochie Welch's back and knocking
him spang out of his engineer's boots. He was thrown forty feet into the brick
siding of the little market, again narrowly missing a plunge through a plate-
glass window.
The force of his strike was hard enough to cause him to rebound into the
street again, leaving a splash of blood on the brick like an inkblot. A picture
of it would appear the next day on the front page of the Libertyville
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