27 ARNIE AND REGINA
Would you like to go riding
In my Buick '59?
I said, would you like to go riding
In my Buick '59?
It's got two carburetors
And a supercharger up the side.
— The Medallions
He let himself into the house that night at quarter of twelve. The clothes he
had been wearing with the shopping trip to Pittsburgh in mind were grease-
and sweat-stained. His hands were more deeply grimed, and a shallow cut
corkscrewed across the back of the left like a brand. His face looked haggard
and stunned. There were dark circles under his eyes.
His mother sat at the table, a game of solitaire laid out in front of her. She
had been waiting for him to come home and dreading it deeply at the same
time. Leigh had called and told her what had happened. The girl, who had
impressed Regina as being quite a nice girl (if perhaps not quite good enough
for her son), sounded as if she had been crying.
Regina, alarmed, had hung up as quickly as she could and had dialed
Darnell's Garage. Leigh had told her Arnie had called for a tow-truck from
there and bad ridden in with the driver. He had put her in a taxi, over her
protests. The phone had rung twice and then a wheezy yet gravelly voice had
said, "Yuh. Darnell's."
She had hung up, realizing it would be a mistake to talk to him there—and it
looked as if she and Mike had already made enough mistakes about Arnie
and his car. She would wait until he came home. Say what she had to say
looking him in the face.
She said it now. "Arnie, I'm sorry."
It would have been better if Mike could be here, too. But he was in Kansas
City, attending a symposium on trade and the beginnings of free enterprise in
the Middle Ages. He wouldn't be back until Sunday, unless this brought him
home early. She thought it might. She realized—not without some rue—that
she might just be awakening to the full seriousness of this situation.
"Sorry," Arnie echoed in a flat, accentless voice.
"Yes, I—that is,
we
—" She couldn't go on. There was something terrible in
the deadwood of his expression. His eyes were blanks. She could only look
at him and shake her head, her eyes brimming, the hateful taste of tears in her
nose and throat. She hated to cry. Strong-willed, one of two girls in a
Catholic family that consisted of, her blue-collar construction-worker father,
her washed-out mother, and seven brothers, hellbent on college in spite of
her father's belief that the only things girls learned there were how to stop
being virgins and how to throw over the church, she had shed her fair share
of tears and more. And if her own family thought she was hard sometimes, it
was because they didn't understand that when you went through hell you came
out baked by the fire. And when you had to burn to have your own way, you
always wanted to have it.
"You know something?" Arnie asked.
She shook her head, still feeling the hot, slithery burn of the tears tinder her
lids.
"You'd make me laugh, if I wasn't so tired I could hardly stand up. You could
have been out there swinging the tire irons and the hammers along with the
guys that did it. You're probably happier about it than they are."
"Arnie, that's not fair!"
"It
is
fair!" he roared at her, his eyes suddenly blazing with a horrible fire.
For the first time in her life she was afraid of her son. "Your idea to get it out
of the driveway! His idea to put it in the airport lot! Who do you think is to
blame here? Just who do you think? Do you think it would have happened if
it had been here? Huh?"
He took a step toward her, fists clenched at his sides, and she had all she
could do to keep from flinching backward.
"Arnie, can't we even talk about this?" she asked. "Like two rational human
beings?"
"One of them took a shit on the dashboard of my car," he said coldly. "How's
that for rational, Mom?"
She had honestly believed she had the tears under control, but this news—
news of such a stupid, irrational fury—brought them back. She cried. She
cried in grief for what her son had seen. She lowered her head and cried in
bewilderment and pain and fear.
All her life as a mother she had felt secretly superior to the women around
her who had children older than Arnie. When he was one, those other
mothers had shaken their heads dolefully and told her to wait until he was
five—that was when the trouble started, that was when they were old enough
to say "shit" in front of their grandmothers and play with matches when left
alone. But Arnold, as good as gold at one, had still been as good as gold at
five. Then the other mothers had rolled their eyes and said wait until he's ten;
and then it had been fifteen, that was when it really got sticky, what with the
dope and the rock concerts and girls that would do anything and—God forbid
—stealing hubcaps and those… well, diseases.
And through it all she had continued to smile inside because it was all
working out according to plan, it was all working out the way she felt her
own childhood should have. Her son had warm, supportive parents who
cared about him, who would give him anything (within reason), who would
gladly send him to the college of his choice (as long as it was a good one),
thereby finishing the game/ business/vocation of Parenting with a flourish. If
you had suggested that Arnie had few friends and was often bullyragged by
the others, she would have starchily pointed out that she had gone to a
parochial school in a tough neighborhood where girls' cotton panties were
sometimes torn off for a joke and then set on fire with Zippo lighters
engraved with the crucified body Jesus. And if you had suggested that her
own attitudes toward child-rearing differed only in terms of material goals
from the attitudes of her hated father, she would have been furious and
pointed out her good son as her final vindication.
But now her good son stood before her, pale, exhausted, and greased to the
elbows, seeming to thrum with the same sort of barely chained anger that had
been his grandfather's trademark, even
looking
like him. Everything seemed
to have fallen into a shambles.
"Arnie, we'll talk about what's to be done in the morning," she said, trying to
pull herself together and beat back the tears. "We'll talk about it in the
morning."
"Not unless you get up real early," he said, seeming to lose interest. "I'm
going upstairs to catch about four hours, and then I'm going down to the
garage again."
"What for?"
He uttered a crazy laugh and flapped his arms under the kitchen's fluorescent
bars as if he would fly. "What do you think for? I got a lot of work to do!
More work than you'd believe!"
"No, you have school tomorrow I… I… forbid it, Arnie, I absolutely—"
He turned to look at her, study her, and she flinched again. This was like
some grinding nightmare that was just going to go on and on.
"I'll get to school," he said. "I'll take some fresh clothes in a pack and I'll
even shower so I don't smell offensive to anyone in home room. Then, after
school's out, I'll go back down to Darnell's. There's a lot of work to be done,
but I can do it… I know I can… it's going to eat up a lot of my savings,
though. Plus, I'll have to keep on top of the stuff I'm doing for Will."
"Your homework… your studies "
"Oh. Those." He smiled the dead, mechanical smile of a clockwork figure.
"They'll suffer, of course, Can't kid you about that. I can't promise you a
ninety-three average anymore, either. But I'll get by. I can make C's. Maybe
some B's."
"No! You've got college to think about!"
He came back to the table, limping again, quite badly. He planted his hands
on the table before her and leaned slowly down. She thought:
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