Bared to You

go away
.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t. Eva, stop fighting.
Listen to me.”
“Everything you’re saying 
hurts,
Gideon.”
“It’s not the right word, Eva,” he pressed on
stubbornly, his lips at my ear. “That’s why I haven’t
said it. It’s not the right word for you and what I feel
for you.”
“Shut up. If you care about me at all, you’ll just
shut up and go away.”
“I’ve been loved before—by Corinne, by other
women…But what the hell do they know about
me? What the hell are they in love with when they
don’t know how fucked up I am? If that’s love, it’s
nothing compared to what I feel for you.”
I stilled, trembling, my gaze on the mirror’s
reflection of my mascara-smeared face and
bedraggled wet hair next to Gideon’s ravaged
beauty. His features were overcome by volatile
emotion as he wrapped himself tightly around me.
We looked all wrong for each other.
And yet I understood the alienation of being
around others who couldn’t really see you or
chose not to. I’d felt the self-loathing that came
with being a fraud, portraying an image of what
you wished you could be but weren’t. I’d lived with

---

the fear that the people you loved might turn away
from you if they ever got to know the true person
hidden inside.
“Gideon—”
His lips touched my temple. “I think I loved you
the moment I saw you. Then we made love that
first time in the limo and it became something
else. Something more.”
“Whatever. You cut me off that night and left me
behind to take care of Corinne. How could you,
Gideon?”
He released me only long enough to scoop me
up and carry me over to where my bathrobe hung
from a hook on the back of the door. He bundled
me up; then had me sit on the edge of the tub
while he went to the sink and pulled my makeup
removal wipes out of the drawer. Crouching in
front of me, he stroked the cloth over my cheek.
“When Corinne called during the advocacy
dinner, it was the perfect time to make me do
something stupid.” His gaze was soft and warm
on my tear-streaked face. “You and I had just
made love, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I told her I
was busy and that I was with someone, and when I
heard the pain in her voice, I knew I had to deal
with her so I could move forward with you.”
“I don’t understand. You left me behind for her.
How does that move us forward?”
“I screwed up with Corinne, Eva.” He tilted my
chin back to rub at my raccoon eyes. “I met her my
first year at Columbia. I noticed her, of course.
She’s beautiful and sweet, and never had an
unkind word to say about anyone. When she
pursued me, I let myself be caught and she
became my first consensual sexual experience.”
“I hate her.”
That made his mouth curve slightly.
“I’m not kidding, Gideon. I’m sick with jealousy

---

right now.”
“It was just sex with her, angel. As raw as you
and I fuck, it’s still making love. Every time, from
the very first time. You’re the only one who’s ever
gotten to me that way.”
I heaved out a breath. “Okay. I’m marginally
better.”
He kissed me. “I guess you could say we dated.
We were exclusive sexually and we often ended
up going to the same places as a couple. Still,
when she told me she loved me, I was surprised.
And flattered. I cared about her. I enjoyed
spending time with her.”
“Still do, apparently,” I muttered.
“Keep listening.” He chastised me with a tap of
his finger to the end of my nose. “I thought maybe I
might love her, too, in my own way…the only way I
knew how. I didn’t want her to be with anyone else.
So I said yes when she proposed.”
I jerked back to look at him. “
She
proposed?”
“Don’t look so shocked,” he said wryly. “You’re
bruising my ego.”
Relief flooded me in a rush that made me dizzy.
I threw myself at him, hugging him as tight as I
could.
“Hey.” His returning embrace was just as fierce.
“You okay?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m getting there.” I pulled back and
cupped his jaw in my hand. “Keep going.”
“I said yes for all the wrong reasons. After two
years of hanging out, we’d never spent a full night
together. Never talked about any of the things I
talk to you about. She didn’t know me, not really,
and yet I convinced myself that being loved at all
was something to hang on to. Who else was
going to do it right, if not her?”
He moved his attention to my other eye,
cleaning away the black streaks. “I think she was

---

hoping that being engaged would take us to a
different level. Maybe I’d open up more. Maybe
we’d stay the night at the hotel—which she thought
was romantic, by the way—instead of calling it an
early night because of classes in the morning. I
don’t know.”
I thought it sounded terribly lonely. My poor
Gideon. He’d been alone for so long. Maybe his
whole life.
“And maybe when she broke it off after a year,”
he went on, “she was hoping that would kick-start
things, too. That I’d make a bigger effort to keep
her. Instead, I was relieved because I’d started to
realize it was going to be impossible to share a
home with her. What excuse was I going to come
up with to sleep in separate rooms and have my
own space?”
“You never considered telling her?”
“No.” He shrugged. “Until you, I didn’t consider
my past an issue. Yes, it affected certain ways I
did things, but everything had its place and I
wasn’t unhappy. In fact, I thought I had a
comfortable and uncomplicated life.”
“Oh, boy.” My nose wrinkled. “Hello, Mr.
Comfortable. I’m Miss Complicated.”
His grin flashed. “Never a dull moment.”

---

G
ideon tossed the makeup remover wipe in the
trash. Then he grabbed a towel to throw over the
puddle he’d left on the floor and toed off his
shoes. To my utter delight, he began stripping out
of his wet clothes.
Watching him raptly, I said, “You feel guilty
because she still loves you.”
“I do, yes. I knew her husband. He was a good
guy and he was crazy about her, until he figured
out she didn’t feel the same way and things fell
apart.”
He looked at me as he peeled his shirt off. “I
couldn’t figure out why he let it get to him. He was
married to the girl he wanted, they lived in a
different country away from me, so what was his
problem? Now, I understand. If 
you
loved
someone else, Eva, it’d shred me to pieces, every
single day. It’d kill me even if you were with me
and not him. But unlike Giroux, I wouldn’t let you
go. Maybe I wouldn’t have all of you, but you’d still

---

be mine and I’d take what I could get.”
My fingers laced in my lap. “That’s what scares
me, Gideon. You don’t know what you’re worth.”
“Actually, I do. Twelve bill—”
“Shut up.” My head spun and I pressed my
fingertips to my eyes. “It shouldn’t be such a
mystery that women fall in love with you and stay in
love. Did you know that Magdalene kept her hair
long hoping it’d remind you of Corinne?”
He dropped his slacks and frowned at me.
“Why?”
I sighed at his cluelessness. “Because she
believes Corinne is who you want.”
“Then she’s not paying attention.”
“Isn’t she? Corinne told me she talks to you
almost every day.”
“Not quite. I’m often not available. You know
how busy I am.” His gaze took on the heated look I
was so familiar with. I knew he was thinking about
the times he got busy with me.
“That’s nuts, Gideon. Her calling every day.
That’s stalking.” Which reminded me of her
assertion that he’d been as possessive over her
as he was about me. That niggled at me in a
terrible way.
“Where are you going with this?” he asked, in a
voice laced with warm amusement.
“Don’t you get it? You drive women off the deep
end because you’re the ultimate. You’re the grand
prize. If a woman can’t have you, they know they’re
settling for less than the best. So they can’t think
about not having you. They just think of crazy ways
to try and get you.”
“Except for the one I want,” he retorted dryly,
“who spends a lot of time running in the opposite
direction.”
I stared unabashedly, drinking him in as he
stood naked in front of me. “Answer one question

---

for me, Gideon. Why do you want me, when you
can have your pick of perfection instead? And I’m
not fishing for compliments or reassurances. I’m
asking an honest question.”
He caught me up and moved us into the
bedroom. “Eva, if you don’t stop thinking of us as
temporary, I’m going to take you over my knee
and make damn sure you like it.”
Setting me down in a chair, he went to rifle
through my drawers.
I watched him pulling out underwear, yoga
pants, and a top. “Have you forgotten I sleep in the
nude with you?”
“We’re not staying here.” He faced me. “I don’t
trust Cary not to bring more intoxicated jerks
home and once we turn in for the night I’ll be
drugged on the medication Dr. Petersen
prescribed and possibly unable to protect you. So
we’re going to my place.”
I looked down at my twisted hands, thinking
about how I might need protection from Gideon,
too. “I’ve been down this road with Cary before,
Gideon. I can’t just hole up at your place and hope
he comes out of it on his own. He needs me to be
around more than I have been.”
“Eva.” Gideon brought me my clothes and
crouched in front of me. “I know you need to
support Cary. We’ll figure out how tomorrow.”
I cupped his face. “Thank you.”
“I need you, too, though,” he said quietly.
“We need each other.”
He pushed to his feet. Moving back to the
dresser, he pulled open his drawers and grabbed
clothes for himself.
Standing, I began to dress. “Listen…”
He pulled a pair of low-slung jeans on. “Yes?”
“I feel tons better now that I know the score, but
Corinne is still going to be a problem for me.” I

---

paused with my shirt in my hands. “You wanna nip
her hopes in the bud real quick. Stow the guilt,
Gideon, and start weaning her off.”
He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his
socks. “She’s a friend, Eva, and she’s in a rough
spot. It’s a cruel time to cut her off.”
“Think carefully, Gideon. I have exes in my past,
too. You’re setting the precedent now for how I’ll
handle them. I’m taking my cues from you.”
He stood with a scowl. “You’re threatening me.”
“I prefer to see it as coercion. Relationships
work both ways. You’re not her only friend. She
can find someone more appropriate to lean on in
her time of crisis.”
We grabbed what we needed and walked back
into the living room. I saw the mess left behind—
an aqua-hued bra beneath an end table and blood
spray on my cream sectional —and I wished Cary
was still around to smack some sense into.
“I’m digging into it with him tomorrow,” I bit out,
my jaw tight with anger and worry. “Goddamn it, I
should’ve decked him when I had the chance. I
should’ve knocked him out cold, and then locked
him up in his room until he gets his brain working
again.”
Gideon’s hand at the small of my back rubbed
soothingly. “It’ll be better to do that tomorrow,
when he’s alone and hungover. More effective that
way.”
Angus was waiting for us when we got downstairs.
I was about to climb into the back of the limo when
Gideon cursed under his breath, stopping me.
“What?” I asked him.
“I forgot something.”
“Let me get my keys.” I reached for the

---

overnight bag Gideon was holding, which had my
purse inside.
“No need. I have a set.” He shot me an
unapologetic grin when my brows rose. “I had
copies made before I gave them back to you.”
“Seriously?”
“If you’d paid attention”—he kissed the top of
my head—“you might’ve noticed that you’ve had
the key to my place on your key ring since I
returned it.”
I gaped after him as he darted past the
doorman and back into the building. I
remembered the torment of those four days when
I’d thought we’d broken up and the excruciating
pain I’d felt when those keys slid out of the
envelope and into my palm.
I’d had the key to being with him all along.
Shaking my head, I looked around at my
adopted city, loving everything about it and feeling
grateful for the crazy well of happiness I’d found
here.
Gideon and I still had so much work ahead of
us. As much as we loved each other, it was no
guarantee that we’d survive our personal wounds.
But we communicated, we were honest with each
other, and God knew we were both too stubborn
to quit without a fight.
Gideon reappeared just as two large, beautifully
groomed poodles walked by with their equally
coiffed owner.
I climbed into the limo. As we pulled away from
the curb, Gideon tugged me onto his lap and
cuddled me close. “We had a rough night, but we
got through it.”
“Yeah, we did.” Tipping my head back, I offered
my mouth for a kiss. He obliged me with one that
was slow and sweet—a simple reaffirmation of
our precious, complicated, maddening, necessary

---

connection.
Cupping his nape, I ran my fingers through his
silky hair. “I can’t wait to get you back in bed.”
He gave a sexy little growl and attacked my
neck with tickling nips and kisses, banishing our
ghosts and their shadows.
At least for a little while…

---