Bared to You

party, lashing out physically when I 
never
did that.
It was the nature of our relationship to be lusty
and emotional, earthy and raw. The trust that held
us together also opened us up to each other in
ways that made us both vulnerable and
dangerous. And it would get worse before it got
better.
He shoved a hand through his hair. “Eva, I—”
“I love you, Gideon.”
“God.” He looked at me with something that
resembled disgust. Whether it was directed at me
or himself, I didn’t know. “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“You just see this”—he gestured at himself with
a wave of his hand. “You’re not seeing the fucked-
up, broken mess inside.”
I inhaled sharply. “You can say that to me?
When you know I’m fucked up and broken, too?”
“Maybe you’re wired to go for someone who’s
terrible for you,” he said bitterly.
“Stop it. I know you’re hurting, but lashing out at

---

me is only going to make you hurt worse.” I
glanced at the clock and saw it was four in the
morning. I walked toward him, needing to get past
my fear of touching him and being touched by him.
He held up a hand as if to hold me off. “I’m
going home, Eva.”
“Sleep on the couch here. Don’t fight me about
this, Gideon. Please. I’ll worry myself sick if you
go.”
“You’ll be more worried if I stay.” He stared at
me, looking lost and angry and filled with terrible
yearning. His eyes pleaded with me for
forgiveness, but he wouldn’t accept it when I tried
to give it to him.
I went to him and took his hand, fighting back
the surge of apprehension that hit me when we
touched. My nerves were still raw, my throat and
mouth still sore, the memory of his attempts at
penetration—so like Nathan’s—were still too
fresh. “We’ll g-get through this,” I promised him,
hating that my voice quavered. “You’ll talk to Dr.
Petersen and we’ll go from there.”
His hand lifted as if to touch my face. “If Cary
hadn’t been here—”
“He was, and I’ll be fine. I love you. We’ll get
past this.” I walked into him, hugging him, pushing
my hands beneath his shirt to touch his bare skin.
“We’re not going to let the past get in the way of
what we have.”
I wasn’t sure which of us I was trying to
convince.
“Eva.” His returning hug squeezed all of the air
out of me. “I’m sorry. It’s killing me. Please.
Forgive me…I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.” My eyes closed, focusing on the
feel of him. The smell of him. Remembering that I
once feared nothing when I was with him.
“I’m so sorry.” His shaking hands stroked the

---

curve of my spine. “I’ll do anything…”
“Shh. I love you. We’ll be okay.”
Turning his head, he kissed me softly. “Forgive
me, Eva. I need you. I’m afraid of what I’ll become
if I lose you…”
“I’m not going anywhere.” My skin tingled
beneath the restless glide of his hands on my
back. “I’m right here. No more running.”
He paused, his breath gusting harshly against
my lips. Then he tilted his head and sealed his
mouth over mine. My body responded to the
gentle coaxing of his kiss. I arched into him
without volition, pulling him closer.
He cupped my breasts in his hands, kneading
them, circling the pads of his thumbs over my
nipples until they peaked and ached. I moaned
with a mixture of fear and hunger, and he quivered
at the sound.
“Eva…?”
“I—I can’t.” The memory of how I’d woken up
was too fresh in my mind. It hurt me to deny him,
knowing he needed the same thing from me as I’d
needed from him when I told him about Nathan—
proof that the desire was still there, that as ugly as
the scars of our pasts were, they didn’t affect what
we were to each other now.
But I couldn’t give him that. Not yet. I felt too raw
and vulnerable. “Just hold me, Gideon. Please.”
He nodded, wrapping his arms around me.
I urged him to sink to the floor with me, hoping I
could get him to fall asleep. I curled into his side,
my leg thrown over his, my arm draped over his
hard stomach. He squeezed me gently, pressing
his lips to my forehead, whispering over and over
again how sorry he was.
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered. “Stay.”
Gideon didn’t answer, didn’t make any
promises, but he didn’t let me go either.

---

I woke sometime later, hearing Gideon’s heart
beating steadily beneath my ear. All the lights
were still on, and the carpeted floor was hard and
uncomfortable.
Gideon lay on his back, his beautiful face
youthful in sleep, his shirt lifted just enough to
expose his navel and the ripped muscles of his
abdomen.
This
was the man I loved. This was the man
whose body gave me such pleasure, whose
thoughtfulness moved me over and over again. He
was still here. And from the frown that marred the
space between his brows, he was still hurting.
I slid my hand into his sweatpants. For the first
time since we’d been together, he wasn’t hot steel
in my palms, but he quickly swelled and thickened
as I tentatively stroked him from root to tip. Fear
lingered just beneath my arousal, but I was more
afraid of losing him than of living with the demons
inside him.
He stirred, his arm tightening around my back.
“Eva…?”
This time I answered him the way I couldn’t
before. “Let’s forget,” I breathed into his mouth.
“Make us forget.”
“Eva.”
He rolled into me, peeling my shirt off with
cautious movements. I was similarly tentative in
undressing him. We approached each other as if
each of us was breakable. The bond between us
was fragile just then, both of us apprehensive
about the future and the wounds we could inflict
with all of our jagged edges.
His lips wrapped around my nipple, his cheeks
hollowing slowly, his seduction subdued. The

---

tender suckling felt so good I gasped and arched
into his hand. He caressed my side from breast to
hip and back again, over and over, gentling me as
my heart raced wildly.
He kissed across my chest to the other breast,
murmuring words of apology and need in a voice
broken by regret and misery. His tongue lapped at
the 
hardened 
point, 
worrying 
it, 
before
surrounding it with wet heat and suction.
“Gideon.” The delicate pulls expertly coaxed
desire through my skittish mind. My body was
already lost in him, greedily seeking the pleasure
and beauty of his.
“Don’t be afraid of me,” he whispered. “Don’t
pull away.”
He kissed my navel, and then moved lower, his
hair caressing my stomach as he settled between
my legs. He held me open with shaking hands and
nuzzled my clit. His light, teasing licks through my
cleft and the fluttering dips into my trembling sex
took me to the edge of insanity.
My back bowed. Hoarse pleas left my lips.
Tension spread through my body, tightening
everything until I felt like I might snap under the
pressure. And then he pushed me into orgasm
with the softest nudge of the tip of his tongue.
I cried out, heated relief pulsing through my
writhing body.
“I can’t let you go, Eva.” Gideon levered over
me as I vibrated with pleasure. “I can’t.”
Brushing away the tear tracks from his face, I
stared into his reddened eyes. His torment was
painful for me to witness, hurting my heart. “I
wouldn’t let you if you tried.”
He took himself in hand and fed his cock slowly,
carefully into me. My head pressed hard into the
floor as he sank deeper, possessing my body one
thick inch at a time.

---

When I’d taken all of him, he began to move in
measured, deliberate thrusts. I closed my eyes
and focused on the connection between us. Then
he settled onto me, his stomach pressed to mine,
and my pulse leaped with panic. Abruptly
frightened, I hesitated.
“Look at me, Eva.” His voice was so hoarse it
was unrecognizable.
I did, and saw his anguish.
“Make love to me,” he begged in a breathless
whisper. “Make love 
with
me. Touch me, angel.
Put your hands on me.”
“Yes.” My palms pressed flat to his back; then
stroked over the quivering muscles to his ass.
Squeezing the hard flexing flesh, I urged him to
move faster, plunge deeper.
The rhythmic strokes of his heavy cock through
the clenching depths of my sex pushed ecstasy
through me in heated waves. He felt so good. My
legs wrapped around his plunging hips, my breath
quickening as the cold knot inside me began to
melt. Our gazes held.
Tears coursed down my temples. “I love you,
Gideon.”
“Please…” His eyes squeezed shut.
“I love you.”
He lured me to orgasm with the skilled rolling of
his hips, stirring his cock inside me. My sex
clenched tightly, trying to hold him, trying to keep
him deep in me.
“Come, Eva,” he gasped against my throat.
I struggled for it, struggled to get past the
lingering apprehension that came from having him
on top of me. The anxiety mingled with the desire,
keeping me on edge.
He made a hoarse sound filled with pain and
regret. “Need you to come, Eva…need to feel
you…Please…”

---

Cupping my buttocks, he angled my hips and
stroked over and over that sensitive spot inside
me. He was tireless, relentless, fucking me long
and hard until my mind lost control of my body and
I came violently. I bit his shoulder to stem my cries
as I shook beneath him, the tiny muscles inside
me trembling with ecstatic ripples. He groaned
deep in his chest, a serrated sound of tormented
pleasure.
“More,” he ordered, deepening his drives to
give me that delectable bite of soreness. That he
once again trusted us both enough to introduce
that little touch of pain chased away the last of my
reservations. As much as we trusted each other,
we were learning to trust our instincts, too.
I came again, ferociously, my toes curling until
they cramped. I felt the familiar tension grip
Gideon and tightened my grasp on his hips,
spurring him on, desperate to feel him spurting
inside me.
“No!” He wrenched away, falling to his back and
throwing an arm over his eyes. Punishing himself
by denying his body the comfort and pleasure of
mine.
His chest heaved and glistened with sweat. His
cock lay heavily on his belly, brutal-looking with its
broad purpled head and thick roping of veins.
I dove for it with hands and mouth, ignoring his
vicious curse. Pinning his torso with my forearm, I
pumped him hard with my other fist and sucked
voraciously on the sensitive crown. His thighs
quivered, his legs kicking restlessly.
“Damn it, Eva. Fuck.” He stiffened and gasped,
his hands shoving into my hair, his hips bucking.
“Oh, fuck. Suck it hard…Ah, Christ…”
He exploded in a powerful rush that almost
choked me, coming hard, flooding my mouth. I
took it all, my fist milking pulse after pulse up the

---

throbbing length of his cock, swallowing
repeatedly until he shuddered with the surfeit of
sensation and begged me to stop.
I straightened and Gideon sat up and wrapped
himself around me. He took me back down to the
floor where he buried his face in my throat and
cried until dawn.
I wore a black long-sleeved silk blouse and slacks
to work on Tuesday, feeling the need to have a
barrier between myself and the world. In the
kitchen, Gideon cupped my face in his hands and
brushed his mouth across mine with heartrending
tenderness. His gaze remained haunted.
“Lunch?” I asked, feeling like we needed to
cling to the connection between us.
“I have a business lunch.” He ran his fingers
through my loose hair. “Would you come? I’ll make
sure Angus gets you back to work on time.”
“I’d love to come along.” I thought of the
schedule of evening events, meetings, and
appointments he’d sent to my smartphone. “And
tomorrow night we have a benefit dinner at the
Waldorf=Astoria?”
His gaze softened. Dressed for work, he looked
somber yet collected. I knew he was anything but.
“You really won’t give up on me, will you?” he
asked quietly.
I held up my right hand and showed him my ring.
“You’re stuck with me, Cross. Get used to it.”
On the drive to work, he cuddled me in his lap,
and again on the ride to lunch at Jean Georges. I
didn’t speak more than a dozen words during the
meal, which Gideon ordered for me and I enjoyed
immensely.
I sat quietly at his side, my left hand resting on

---

his hard thigh beneath the tablecloth, a wordless
affirmation of my commitment to him. To us. One
of his hands rested over mine, warm and strong,
as he discussed a new property in development
on St. Croix. We kept that connection throughout
the entire meal, each of us choosing to eat one-
handed rather than separate.
With each hour that passed, I felt the horror of
the night before drain away from both of us. It
would be another scar to add to his collection,
another bitter memory he’d always have, a
memory I would share and fear along with him, but
it wouldn’t rule us. We wouldn’t let it.
Angus was waiting to take me home when my day
ended. Gideon was working late, and then going
directly from the Crossfire to Dr. Petersen’s office.
I used the length of the drive to steel myself for the
next round of training with Parker. I debated
skipping it, but ended up deciding it was
important to keep to a routine. So much in my life
was uncontrollable at the moment. Following a
schedule was one of the few things totally within
my power.
After an hour and a half of tagging and
groundwork with Parker at the studio, I was
relieved when Clancy dropped me off at home
and proud of myself for working out when it was
the last thing I’d wanted to do.
When I stepped into the lobby, I found Trey
talking to the front desk.
“Hey,” I greeted him. “Going up?”
He turned to face me, his brown eyes warm and
his smile open. Trey had a gentleness to him, a
kind of straightforward naïveté that was different
from the other relationships Cary’d had before. Or

---

maybe I should just say Trey was “normal,” which
so few of the people in my and Cary’s lives were.
“Cary’s not in,” he said. “They just tried calling.”
“You’re welcome to come up with me and wait. I
won’t be going out again.”
“If you really don’t mind.” He fell into step beside
me as I waved at the gal at the front desk and
moved toward the elevators. “I brought something
for him.”
“I don’t mind at all,” I assured him, returning his
sweet smile.
He eyed my yoga pants and tank top. “You just
get back from the gym?”
“Yeah. Despite it being one of those days when
I’d rather have done