Of all the things for us to have in common…
The raw passion of our lust gentled into the
warm familiarity of love. With my heart breaking, I
confessed, “I don’t either. At least not voluntarily.”
“Then…why?” The confusion in his voice moved
me deeply.
I hugged him, pressing my cheek to his
shoulder and listening to the slightly panicked
beat of his heart. “Because I believe your touch
can erase Nathan’s.”
“Oh, Eva.” His cheek pressed to the crown of
my head.
I snuggled closer. “You make me feel safe.”
We held each other for long moments. I listened
to his heartbeat slow and his breathing smooth
out. I inhaled deeply, relishing the mix of his
personal scent mixed with the scent of hard lust
and harder sex.
When the tip of his middle finger slid gossamer-
soft over the pucker of my anus, I stilled and pulled
back to look at him. “Gideon?”
“Why me?” he asked softly, his beautiful eyes
dark and stormy. “You know I’m fucked up, Eva.
You saw what I…that night you woke me…You
saw,
damn it. How can you trust me with your body
this way?”
“I trust my heart and what it tells me.” I smoothed
the frown line between his brows. “You can give
my body back to me, Gideon. I believe you’re the
only one who can.”
His eyes closed and his damp forehead
touched mine. “Do you have a safeword, Eva?”
Startled, I pulled back again to study his face. A
few members of my therapy group had talked
about Dom/sub relationships. Some required total
control to feel safe during sex. Others fell on the
opposite side of the line, finding that bondage and
humiliation satisfied their deep-seated need to
feel pain to experience pleasure. For those who
practiced that lifestyle, a safeword was an
unambiguous way to say “stop.” But I couldn’t see
how that had any relevance to me and Gideon.
“Do you?”
“I don’t need one.” Between my legs, the gentle
stroke of his finger became less tentative. He
repeated his question, “Do you have a safeword?”
“No. I’ve never needed one. Missionary, doggy
style, B.O.B…. that’s about the extent of my mad
skills in the sack.”
That brought a touch of amusement to his
otherwise severe face. “Thank God. I wouldn’t
survive you otherwise.”
And still that fingertip massaged me, spurring a
dark yearning. Gideon could do that to me, make
me forget everything that happened before. I had
no negative sexual triggers with him, no hesitation
or fears. He’d given that to me. In return, I wanted
to give him the body he’d freed from my past.
The long case clock near the door began to
chime the hour.
“Gideon, we’ve been gone a long time.
Someone will come looking for us.”
He put the slightest pressure against my
sensitive rosette, barely pressing. “Do you really
care if they do?”
My hips arched into the touch. Anticipation was
making me hot all over again. “I don’t care about
anything but you when you’re touching me.”
His free hand lifted to my hair and held it at the
roots, keeping my head still. “Did you ever enjoy
anal play? Accidentally or by deliberation?”
“No.”
“And yet you trust me enough to ask me for
this.” He kissed my forehead as he drew the
slickness of his semen back to my rear.
I gripped his waistband. “You don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do.” His voice had that wickedly
assertive bite to it. “If you crave something, I’ll be
the one to give it to you. All of your needs, Eva,
are mine to fulfill. Whatever it costs me.”
“Thank you, Gideon.” My hips shifted restlessly
as he continued to lubricate me gently. “I want to
be what you need, too.”
“I’ve told you what I need, Eva—control.” He
brushed his parted lips back and forth over mine.
“You’re asking me to lead you back into painful
places and I will, if that’s what you need. But we
have to be extremely careful.”
“I know.”
“Trust is hard for both of us. If we break it, we
could lose everything. Think of a word you
associate with power.
Your
safeword, angel.
Choose it.”
The pressure of that single fingertip became
more insistent. I moaned, “Crossfire.”
“Umm…I like it. Very fitting.” His tongue dipped
into my mouth, barely touching mine before
retreating. His finger rimmed my anus over and
over, pushing his semen into the puckered hole, a
soft growl escaping him as it flexed in a silent plea
for more.
The next time he pressed against the ring, I
pushed out and he slipped his fingertip inside me.
The feeling of penetration was shockingly intense.
Just as before, surrender weighted my body,
leaving me languid.
“Are you okay?” Gideon asked harshly as I
sagged against him. “Should I stop?”
“No…Don’t stop.”
He pushed fractionally deeper and I clenched
around him, a helpless reaction to the feel of
something gliding across tender tissues. “You’re
snug and scorching hot,” he murmured. “And so
soft. Does it hurt?”
“No. Please. More.”
Gideon withdrew to his fingertip; then slid in to
the knuckle, slow and easy. I quivered in delight,
astonished by how good it felt, that teasing bit of
fullness in my rear.
“How’s that?” he asked hoarsely.
“Good. Everything you do to me feels good.”
He withdrew again, glided deep again. Leaning
forward, I thrust my hips back to give him easier
access and pressed my breasts against his
chest. His fist in my hair tightened, pulling my
head back so he could take my mouth in a lush,
wet kiss. Our open mouths slid across each other,
growing more frantic as my arousal built. The feel
of Gideon’s finger in that darkly sexual place,
thrusting in that gentle rhythm, had me rocking
backward to meet his inward drives.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice
infinitely gentle. “I love making you feel good. Love
watching an orgasm move through your body.”
“Gideon.” I was lost, drowning in the powerful
joy of being held by him, loved by him. Four days
alone had taught me how miserable I’d be if we
couldn’t work things out, how dull and colorless my
world would be without him in it. “I need you.”
“I know.” He licked across my lips, making my
head spin. “I’m here. Your cunt’s trembling and
tightening. You’re going to come for me again.”
With shaking hands, I reached between us for
his cock, finding it hard. I lifted the layers of my
underskirts so I could insert him into my drenched
sex. He slid in a few inches, our standing
positions preventing deeper penetration, but the
connection alone was enough. I wrapped my arms
around his shoulders, burying my face in his neck
as my knees weakened. His hand left my hair, his
arm clasping my back and holding me close.
“Eva.” The tempo of his finger thrusts
quickened. “Do you know what you do to me?”
His hips nudged against mine, the wide crest of
his penis massaging a sweetly tender spot.
“You’re milking the head of my dick with those
hungry little squeezes. You’re going to make me
come for you. When you go off, I’m going with
you.”
I was distantly aware of the helpless noises
spilling from my throat. My senses were
overloaded by Gideon’s scent and the heat of his
hard body, the feel of his cock rubbing inside me
and his finger pumping into my rear. I was
surrounded by him, filled with him, blissfully
possessed in every way. A climax was building in
force, pounding through me, pooling in my core.
Not just from the physical pleasure but from the
knowledge that he’d been willing to take a risk.
Once again. For me.
His finger stilled and I made a sound of protest.
“Hush,” he whispered. “Someone’s coming.”
“Oh God! Magdalene came in earlier and saw
us. What if she told—”
“Don’t move.” Gideon didn’t let me go. He
stood just as he was, filling me front and back, his
hand caressing the length of my spine and
smoothing my dress down. “Your skirts hide
everything.”
With my back to the room’s entrance, I pressed
my flaming face into his shirt.
The door opened. There was a pause then, “Is
everything all right?”
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