Atlas Shrugged


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atlas-shrugged

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 She waited, her pity vanishing and becoming respect.
Then she saw his eyes move slowly from her face down the length of her body, and she knew the sort of
torture he was now choosing to experience, because it was a glance of a nature he could not hide from
her. She knew that he was seeing her as she had been at seventeen, he was seeing her with the rival he
hated, he was seeing them together as they would be now, a sight he could neither endure nor resist. She
saw the protection of control dropping from his face, but he did not care whether he let her see his face
alive and naked, because there now was nothing to read in it except an unrevealing violence, some part
of which resembled hatred.
He seized her shoulders, and she felt prepared to accept that he would now kill her or beat her into
unconsciousness, and in the moment when she felt certain that he had thought of it, she felt her body
thrown against him and his mouth falling on hers, more brutally than the act of a beating would have
permitted.
She found herself, in terror, twisting her body to resist, and, in exultation, twisting her arms around him,
holding him, letting her lips bring blood to his, knowing that she had never wanted him as she did in this
moment.
When he threw her down on the couch, she knew, to the rhythm of the beat of his body, that it was the
act of his victory over his rival and of his surrender to him, the act of ownership brought to unendurable
violence by the thought of the man whom it was defying, the act of transforming his hatred for the
pleasure that man had known into the intensity of his own pleasure, his conquest of that man by means of
her body—she felt Francisco's presence through Rearden's mind, she felt as if she were surrendering to
both men, to that which she had worshipped in both of them, that which they held in common, that
essence of character which had made of her love for each an act of loyalty to both. She knew also that
this was his rebellion against the world around them, against its worship of degradation, against the long
torment of his wasted days and lightless struggle—this was what he wished to assert and, alone with her
in the half-darkness high in space above a city of ruins, to hold as the last of his property.
Afterwards, they lay still, his face on her shoulder. The reflection of a distant electric sign kept beating in
faint flashes on the ceiling above her head.
He reached for her hand and slipped her fingers under his face to let his mouth rest against her palm for a
moment, so gently that she felt his motive more than his touch.
After a while, she got up, she reached for a cigarette, lighted it, then held it out to him with a slight,
questioning lift of her hand; he nodded, still sitting half-stretched on the couch; she placed the cigarette
between his lips and lighted another for herself. She felt a great sense of peace between them, and the
intimacy of the unimportant gestures underscored the importance of the things they were not saying to
each other. Everything was said, she thought—but knew that it waited to be acknowledged.
She saw his eyes move to the entrance door once in a while and remain on it for long moments, as if he
were still seeing the man who had left.
He said quietly, "He could have beaten me by letting me have the truth, any time he wished. Why didn't
he?"
She shrugged, spreading her hands in a gesture of helpless sadness, because they both knew the answer.
She asked, "He did mean a great deal to you, didn't he?"

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