Dying and Death
169
cheek-bones and long hair of our early married days, and sensed her
cheerful and loving presence. Then she appeared in front of me as a
fairy, small with fluttering wings. I didn’t much like this image, as
I preferred to think of her with more power. This fairy then nestled
with great tenderness in my heart (the bottom left corner), with her
smiling head to one side resting on folded hands.
There was a short pause, and then I had words given to me. I heard
and saw nothing: it was like a date-stamp being imprinted on my
brain, a kind of thought transference. They were
I will always be with
you
. It took another short pause before the significance hit me. This
was what Sally
had said to me at Easter-time, when we knew the battle
for life was lost, and repeated once or twice before she died. . . . I felt I
had received a clear message that Sally was closer than I could have
dreamt, and that she was lodged in my heart. I wept with joy as
I walked, and was deeply comforted. That the sense of comfort has
remained may be due in some degree to her continuing visitations in
the lights, to which her message may partly refer.
It struck me that Sally came through to me only when my mind
had stopped churning and was relatively at peace. The same circum-
stance accompanied her second
visit a month later in which, rather
than being a passive recipient, I found myself an active participant.
I was at home . . . and had just gone through three days of extreme
upset at some things I found she had done. This may not have merited
such anger, but in my vulnerable state I felt for a while that the world
had fallen in.
I had at last calmed down, and was lying in bed gazing abstractly
at my dressing-gown on the door. It was there that I seemed to see
Sally: as in Italy, not to imagine that she was actually in the room, but
presented with a
vision of her in symbolic form, with enough of her
features to make no mistake about her identity. I saw her head, from
above, but in the guise of Mary Magdalene who, as a seeker and a
passionate and misunderstood woman, had long held a special place
in Sally’s inner life. She was distraught, and in an echo of the Gospels
was washing my feet with her hair and her tears. This had an extraor-
dinarily
powerful effect on me, as I was impelled to respond. First
I said, very gently, slowly and tenderly as if to a sobbing child, ‘It’s all
right – it’s all right – it’s all right – it’s all right’; then, very slowly, over
and over, ‘I love you – I love you – I love you – I love you’. Then to
my astonishment this became ‘I forgive you – I forgive you – it’s all
right – I forgive you’ – astonishment, because I am not (alas) a quick
forgiver, and would normally have held on to my grievance for some
time. But this forgiveness was instantaneous and heartfelt in a way
Religious and Spiritual Experience
170
I had never experienced: it was as if it came through me – as though it
wasn’t
I
who forgave, but I couldn’t help it because she was so
beautiful, in such distress, and she needed it so much. It
felt to me
like a reflection of God’s love and forgiveness of us all when we truly
ask for it.
The vision ended more faintly with a couple of intimate cameos that
seemed to answer a question I’d had in my mind, and which gave
added authenticity and had me laughing: a typical Sally touch. The
effect of the whole was overpowering. While the earlier vision gave
information and reassurance, this one brought a two-way interaction
that still amazes me when I think of it. . . . it extended my understand-
ing of what may be possible beyond the divide of death.
. . .
. . . they have left me with an enhanced sense of wonder and
privilege, and of closeness to Sally.
. . .
She had a
very powerful energy about her; she was psychic; she was
full of fun; and as an Alister Hardy member she was intensely inter-
ested in this field. [from 005374]
141
Instances of people communicating through mediums and even
materializing during special séances are fairly well-known but a notable
recent case is that of Montague Keen. A well-known researcher into the
paranormal, he died suddenly while asking a question at the Royal
Society of Arts. Since then, his widow, Veronica, has had communications
from all over the world from mediums who did not know her husband,
but who have relayed messages from him to her. She
has even heard
his voice through a medium. This was recorded on tape and played on TV.
They had promised each other that whoever passed on first would do
their utmost to communicate with the other, and indeed Veronica is
continuing Montague’s work on survival with his continued help. There
are regular communications which are posted on a website, www.
montaguekeen.com.
Death, dying and the afterlife seem to be in need of re-evaluation in the
light of such experiences, perhaps reflecting more closely what is con-
tained in the scriptures of the world’s religions, that death is not the end.
