An introduction to religious and spiritual experience

part of the universe which I possess totally; it is the whole universe 
which I possess partly.’
Even though my experience was profound, it did not last long – just 
for a brief space between the opening and closing of those sliding doors 
at Charing Cross station. In one sense the unsolicited epiphany changed 
nothing; in another sense it changed everything.
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Illness and Prospect of Death
It is said that nothing concentrates the mind like the prospect of dying. 
Here, however, the result of a terminal diagnosis was rather unexpected.
15 years ago I had all the signs and symptoms of cancer of the colon. 
I spent half a Friday in St. Mary’s and the specialist said ‘It is difficult 
to think of any other possible diagnosis which fits the facts.’ There was 
to be a final test on the Monday. I left St. Mary’s and took a walk to 
Marble Arch and along Oxford Street. I was startled by the brilliance 
of the colours of the street. Several people looked at me and smiled 
(They saw the deep peace on my face). I spent a weekend of deepest 
happiness. All my worries disappeared. – ‘I should be dead in 6 months.’ 
I truly for once took no anxious thought. On the Monday the test 
proved that I had nothing seriously wrong and by the end of the week 
my brow was furrowed again. [569]
73
In this experience, illness was feared,
I am 41 now, yet I have never forgotten the experience I had when 
I was about 18. It is in many ways intangible because after all it was 
only a ‘feeling’ and yet it was very real to me then, and still fills me with 
a sense of wonder. A friend of mine had been suspected of 
contracting T.B. and I was dreadfully worried that I too may have 
caught it. So worried in fact that it was constantly in my mind. I was 
not religious in the sense that I went to church, but from childhood 
I suppose I have always been a ‘believer’ so I kept praying that I hadn’t 
caught this disease. Many times I asked God to ‘please let me be free of 
it’, ‘please don’t let me catch it’. 

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Religious and Spiritual Experience
80
It was Christmas and on Boxing Day I went by myself to the local 
cinema and even on the way and while I was there I was still sending 
up my little prayers. Then suddenly, during the film, and completely 
without warning, relief ‘flooded through me’. Tears of joy came into 
my eyes because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt that I would be 
alright. This time my prayers were thanks and I walked home from 
that film as though I were treading on air, and I never worried a single 
moment more. 
It is against my nature to set this down coldly in print for I feel that 
I haven’t the ability to adequately describe something which had such 
a profound effect on me, but I have never been able to explain why 
worry should have turned to relief and joy with no ‘outside’ influence 
to cause it. I am a married woman, housewife and Civil Servant (no 
children) of British nationality and little or no religious upbringing, 
although my parents (and I) claim to be Church of England. [001709]