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ecause of what I’d done in Fallujah, I was pulled out a few times
to talk to head shed types about how I thought snipers should be
deployed. I was now a Subject Matter Expert—an SME in
militarese
.
I hated it.
Some people might find it flattering to be talking to a bunch of
high-ranking officers, but I just wanted to do my job. It was torture
sitting in the room, trying to explain what the war was like.
They’d ask me questions like, “What kind of gear should we
have?” Not unreasonable, I guess, but all I could think of was:
God,
you guys are really all pretty stupid. This is basic stuff you
should have figured out long ago.
I would tell them what I thought, how we should train up snipers,
how we should use them. I suggested more training about urban
overwatches and creating hides in buildings, things I’d learned more
or less as I went. I gave them ideas about sending snipers into an
area before the assault, so they could provide intel to the assault
teams before they arrived. I made suggestions on how to make
snipers more active and aggressive. I suggested that snipers take
shots over the heads of an assault team during training, so the teams
could get used to working with them.
I told the brass about gear issues—the dust cover of the M-11,
for example, and suppressors that jiggled at the end of the barrel,
hurting the accuracy of the rifle.
It was all extremely obvious to me, but not to them.
Asked for my opinion, I’d give it. But most times they didn’t
really
want it. They wanted me to validate some decision they’d
already made or some thought they’d already had. I’d tell them
about a given piece of gear I thought we should have; they’d
answer that they’d already bought a thousand of something else. I’d
offer them a strategy I’d used successfully in Fallujah; they’d quote
me chapter and verse on why it wouldn’t work.
Taya:
We had a lot of confrontations while he was home.
His enlistment was coming up, and I didn’t want him to
re-up.
I felt he had done his duty to the country, even more
than anyone could ask. And I felt that we needed him.
I’v e always believed that your responsibility is to
God, family, and country—in that order. He disagreed—
he put country ahead of family.
And yet he wasn’t completely obstinate. He always
said, “If you tell me not to reenlist, I won’t.”
But I couldn’t do that. I told him, “I can’t tell you
what to do. You’ll just hate me and resent me all your
life.
“But I will tell you this,” I said. “If you do reenlist,
then I will know exactly where we stand. It will change
things. I won’t want it to, but I know in my heart it will.”
When he reenlisted anyway, I thought, Okay. Now I
know. Being a SEAL is more important to him than
being a father or a husband.
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