All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

He should take the time and consult experienced and 
learned Muftis.
He should make notes of relevant 
points and masaa’il and learn the relative points and 
factors regarding dealing and living with his wife. He 
should study the literature of notable Ulama on the 
subject and learn how to conduct his life in accordance 
to the Sunnat. If he encounters any confusion on any 
part of the books, he should make a note thereof and 
consult reputable Ulama to seek clarification. 
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2. 
The second thing he should do is to seek guidance 
and ease from Allaah Ta`ala by making dua. 
Together with this, he should consult some 
intelligent and mature married friend or family 
relative
and learn about how to lead a proper Islaamic 
married life. He should keep going to this person, but 
rather consult with him once or twice and try to 
ascertain all the facts. He should not go to all and 
sundry, because he will become more confused and 
disorientated. There is a famous saying which goes: 
“Too many cooks spoil the broth.”
Another disadvantage of seeking advice from too many people 
is that all these many people will later want to enquire what 
transpired and what the outcome of your proposal may be etc., 
etc., which will eventually lead to the entire affair becoming a 
theatre.
The best way is that which we have showed, which is to study a 
few relevant Kitaabs and keep them as reference. If you 
encounter any difficulty at any juncture, then seek its 
clarification from a reputable Mufti and confide and seek 
occasional advice from a close and trustable person, albeit a 
family member. 
By merely following this way, all fears and misapprehensions 
will disappear. Another fear some may have is whether they 
will be able to fulfil the conjugal rights the first night, or 
perhaps due to some other factor they may slip-up and this may 
lead to his bride confiding this to others, which will be an 
embarrassment. This is a futile and nonsensical thing to worry 
about. Such issues are natural occurrences and there is nothing 
to fear or be apprehensive about. The more relaxed and 

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unperturbed one is about such issues the more effective and 
natural will be the outcome. 
MARRIAGE CUSTOMS 
Hadhrat Abdur Rahmaan bin Auf (radhiallahu anhu) is amongst 
those ten Sahaabah (radhiallahu anhum) who received the glad 
tidings of Jannat in this world. It is reported in a Hadith that 
once Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) saw a mark on his 
clothes and asked him what that was. Hadhrat Abdur Rahmaan 
(radhiallahu anhu) commented that he had married a woman 
(meaning that at the time of marriage he applied some scent 
and that this mark was of that scent). Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) wished him well and advised him to have a 
Walimah, even if it be one goat. 
Just reflect on this incident! A Sahaabi as close to Nabi 
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) as Hadhrat Abdur Rahmaan bin 
Auf, who was one of the ten Sahaabah (radhiallahu anhum) 
given the glad tidings of Jannat in this world, had made Nikah 
and not deemed it necessary to invite Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) thereto. Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) only came 
to know of his Nikah after enquiring about the scent mark on 
his clothes. Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) did not complain 
or mention anything about why he did not call or inform him 
(sallallahu alaihi wasallam) about the Nikah. In fact, to the 
contrary, Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) gave him duas and 
advised him regarding holding a Walimah.