partners for them?”
The man replied,
“They do have eligible
partners, but I am presently not of the means to get them
married.”
Upon hearing this, the Sheikh was perplexed and asked,
“Are
you speaking of your daughters or sons?”
The man said,
“My daughters.”
The Sheikh was visibly
surprised and said,
“What need is there for any material means
to marry daughters?”
The man said,
“I have nothing to give
them as ‘trousseau’.”
The Sheikh asked,
“What is ‘trousseau’?”
Those sitting around the Sheikh explained to him that in our
country there is the custom of the father presenting his
daughter, on the occasion of her marriage, with jewellery,
clothing, etc. This, they explained to him was what is called
‘trousseau’.
They told him that this was the responsibility of the girl’s father
without which the Nikah could not be envisaged. This
(trousseau) can also be requested to by the girl’s in-laws.
Upon hearing this, the Sheikh struck his forehead and
exclaimed,
“Is there any sin or felony in effecting a girl’s
marriage that the father has to undergo this punishment?”
He then said that no such custom exists in their society. In
most places it is deemed the responsibility of the groom that
he make appropriate arrangements for the household needs
before bringing his bride home. There is no need for the girl’s
father to spend a cent. In other places the norm is that the
father of the bride will purchase for his daughter whatever is
necessary, keeping in mind her needs, and the groom will
reimburse the father. Nevertheless, at the time of parting, the
father may, if he wishes, give his daughter something, but this
is not obligatory.
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From this incident we can gauge the impropriety of this custom
which is prevalent amongst our society.
As mentioned in the incident above, as far as the Shariah is
concerned the only connection it has with a ‘trousseau’ is that
on the occasion of Nikah the father of the bride may, if he is
able, give his daughter something which will be of benefit to
her. This gift of the father is not any Shar`i prerequisite and it is
not something which can be demanded or requested by the
bride’s in-laws. If nothing is given or little is given to the girl by
her father, then this is no reflection or sign of disgrace on
anyone.
The evils of ‘trousseau’
We will dilate briefly on the misconceptions which are
prevalent in our societies:
1).
‘Trousseau’ is regarded as a necessary requisite for
the bride, to such an extent that if there is no money for the
‘trousseau’ then the Nikah will not take place. Numerous girls
end up ‘sitting on the shelf’ and never get married because
their father’s never had the means to provide a trousseau. On
the other hand, there are many father’s who, due to a lack of
funds, resorted to un-Islaamic and Haraam means to procure
enough money to provide a trousseau for his daughter.
2).
The requisites and amount of trousseau which is given
increases by the day. The trousseau is no longer a mere gift
which the father gives his daughter, it as become a forced
transactional matter. It is no longer something which will
benefit the daughter, but it has become to include something
for the convenience of the groom and also something to
beautify the home. Whether the girl’s father does so out of his
own desire or whether he is forced to do so, it continues.
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The Sheikh asked,
“Have you not as yet found suitable
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