All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

A furtive act of oppression
A common ailment which is found nowadays in most, if not all, 
homes is that the women of the house, be it the mother or wife, 
is taken for granted. The washing, cooking, ironing, cleaning 
and all other domestic chores carried out by the womenfolk is 
deemed as being her obligatory and necessary duties. It is taken 
fro granted that all these chores are the responsibility of the 
mother or wife. None of her effort is appreciated due to this 
type of mentality. This is 
kufraan-e-ni`mat
(ungratefulness for 
a favour). 
Remember, this is the very woman through whose efforts all 
the household chores are being attended to. She keeps the 

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family lineage going. How sad and tragic is it that she cannot 
even be given some credit and praise for all the work she does. 
It is a grave act of ingratitude when instead of appreciating, her 
efforts, complaints are made. 
What if you feel awed or are given a cold shoulder by someone, 
an officer or clerk in an office, then you would make sure you 
avoid that company or branch so as not to have contact with the 
sullen person. Now what about your poor life-partner or 
beloved mother? Can they ignore and avoid you for your dour 
and stern attitude? Certainly not!
Who is there to prevent your poor wife from feeling helpless 
and hopeless because of your attitude towards her? 
Your wife spends all her energies and efforts at housework that 
she tires herself, so much so that it even sometimes leads to 
physical illness. 
To bear difficulty due to a disagreement with the wife is 
also a 
mujaahadah
A person, who was explaining his condition, mentioned that it 
was his ill-fate that his disposition and temperament and that of 
his wife were far apart. He said that his wife does not have any 
apparent fault, it was just that they were ‘poles apart’. Owing to 
this conflict in natures, they were drifting apart day by day. It 
was like a wall between them, which was getting more and 
more solid. He said that this was having an adverse effect on 
his work and making his life constrained. He felt that his future 
was bleak and held no hope for himself. This, he said, was 
adversely affecting his worldly and 
ukhrawi
life. He requested 
duas for peace of mind and contentment of heart and that this 
situation be resolved. 
He complained that he is stuck in this situation for the past 
three years and even yearns death to escape, or to be isolated in 
some far-off place. 
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Reply
: Your letter has reached me. You are a person with 
courage, so why do we note so much of impatience in your 
tone? You should exercise some patience because situations 
such as these are tests and require 
mujaahadah
. Bear your 
situation for a while yet, and soon you will, Insha-Allaah Ta`ala 
find a plan to overcome your grief and sorrows.