All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

A thought about practicing thereupon
Every man should think to himself whether he would like it if 
someone else speaks to him or interacts with him in the manner 
that he normally does with his wife. If his answer is negative 
then he should realise that his wife is also a human being with 
feelings. Insha-Allaah Ta`ala such realisations should knock 
some sense and intelligence in even the hardest of hearts. We 
should all make dua that Allaah Ta`ala grant us a sweet tongue. 
Remember that a tongue has no bones, but a ‘sharp’ tongue 
gives rise to such a ‘bone’ whose hurt may last a lifetime. 
Remember that to be able to speak nicely is an art. Don’t think 
that the person who speaks the most is necessarily the best at 
holding a conversation. It is just as difficult to listen and bear 
the speech of others as it is to be able to speak eloquently. If 
your wife ever speaks to you out of turn, then you should 
remain silent and bear it patiently.
Remember that soft and eloquent speech and a sweet tongue are 
instruments of ‘sorcery’. A person can mesmerise others with 
his tongue. A sweet tongue covers up faults. A man may have 
the world of good traits in him, but if he has an evil tongue then 
it will wash away all his goodness (in the sight of others).
There will be great benefit for you in adopting a kind and soft 
tone and your wife will change her attitude towards you, even if 
she is foul-tempered. 

---

105
In commenting on this Aayat, Hadhrat Mufti Shafee Saheb 
(rahmatullah alayh) said that regardless of how oppressive and 
evil the opposite party may be, it is necessary to deal with them 
kindly. The result of this would be that they may reflect and 
ponder and the fear of Allaah Ta`ala may be imbibed into their 
hearts. 
Firoun, the tyrant supreme of the time, who had caused so 
much of oppression to the Bani Israeel and murdered so many 
of their innocent children, was the target of Hadhrat Moosa and 
Haroon’s 
(alaihimus 
salaam) 
invitation 
to 
Tauheed. 
Notwithstanding his blatant evil, these two great Prophets were 
ordered to speak to him kindly and softly. Although Allaah 
Ta`ala knew in His Infinite Wisdom that Firoun would not 
accept the 
da`wat
, yet He instructed this to His Nabis. Even 
though Hidaayat was not destined for Firoun, yet the two Nabis 
(alaihimus salaam) had to observe the proper protocol.
Similarly, Mamoon Rashid, the Khalifah was once severely 
admonishing a man. The man told him, 
“Speak kindly and 
softly because Allaah Ta`ala ordered someone better than you 
(i.e. Hadhrat Moosa and Haroon - alaihimus salaam) to speak 
kindly to someone more evil than I (i.e. Firoun).”
Remember! The obedience of the wife to the husband can be 
achieved by following a simple recipe. If a man habituates 
himself to speaking softly and kindly to his wife, then she will 
eventually also follow in his example. When a husband is kind 
to his wife and speaks to her affectionately, then not only will 
the wife become obedient to her husband, but she will also 
adopt this mannerism of his.
By screaming and shouting at her, nothing will be achieved. 
Remember that the house wherein the husband constantly 
scolds and admonishes his wife and children, will be bereft of 
all warmth and comfort. 
106
Everyone is beset with problems and worries in their lives. A 
man should not vent his frustrations on his family. He should 
curb his emotions and anger and adopt a kind attitude. This will 
engender a happy home. A happy home and inhabitants will 
give the man strength to face and conquer his outside problems. 
You should therefore make a firm resolution to adopt a kind 
and pleasant countenance in the home, regardless of what 
problems you may have otherwise.