All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

‘Ihsaan’
 and Married life
Doctor Abdul Hayy Saheb (rahmatullah alayh) was one of 
those personalities who led a very secluded life away from 
publicity, name and fame. He was one of the khalifahs of 
Hadhrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi (rahmatullah alayh), and 
many people consulted him for their 
islaahi
reformation.
One day a man came to Doctor Saheb and explained his 
situation thus, 
“Alhamdulillah, I have attained the stage of 
Ihsaan.”
[
Ihsaan
is a Qur`aanic word which has been explained 
in the Ahaadith thus - where a person performs his ibaadat in 
such a state as though he is actually in Allaah Ta`ala’s presence 
or at the least he is conscious that Allaah Ta`ala is watching 
him.] This person meant to say that insofar as his acts of 
ibaadat are concerned he has, Alhamdulillah, attained acquired 
the rank of 
Ihsaan
as described by the Hadith. 
In reply, Doctor Saheb had lauded him and said, 
“Indeed 
Ihsaan is a great bounty, for which you should be grateful. 
However, I need to ask you something…does your state of 
Ihsaan only apply to Salaat or also to your interaction and 
dealings with your wife, children and family?”
The man replied 
that he had heard that the state of 
Ihsaan
be adopted for Salaat 
and other forms of ibaadat, and had practiced it in these 
avenues only. He praised Allaah Ta`ala that he had at least 
achieved it in his Salaat and had not even thought of its 
application in other aspects of life. Doctor Saheb said, 
“I had 
asked you this question specifically with the intention of 

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removing this misconception. Indeed Ihsaan is necessary for 
Salaat and all other forms of ibaadat, however, its application 
is not only restricted there. It is to be applied to the other 
aspects of your life also. When a man interacts with others in 
any sphere of life, he should have this in mind that Allaah 
Ta`ala is watching him. More especially this will apply in the 
relationship between man and wife. When a man has this 
perception vivid in his mind then he will deal more fairly with 
all, especially his wife.”
Thereafter Doctor Saheb mentioned that it was amongst the 
Sunnats of Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) that he never, in 
his entire life, became naturally angry with any of his blessed 
wives or scolded them. Doctor Saheb said, 
“In trying to 
emulate this Sunnat, I have also inculcated this habit in myself 
that I never vent my anger on my family members. In this 
regard, I say with gratitude to Allaah Ta`ala, ‘This year was 
my fifty-first anniversary and Alhamdulillah, in all this time, I 
have never raised my tone when speaking to her.”
Some time later, Doctor Saheb’s wife commented, 
“I do not 
remember any time during my life where Doctor Saheb spoke to 
me in an unpleasant tone, or that he ever asked me directly to 
do any work for him. I would do things for him out of my own 
will, but he never asked me to do it for him.”
Indeed the Qur`aan Majeed has assigned the mantle to men of 
being the 
Qawwaam
of women (i.e. they are the overseers and 
protectors of women), however according to the Sunnat and 
statements of Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) this does not 
mean that men, being the ‘guards’ over women should rule 
them and treat them as servants and slaves. In another Aayat in 
the Qur`aan Majeed, the relationship between husband and wife 
is described as