All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

The Deeni-conscious
Many of our Deeni-concerned brothers are faced with various 
challenges regarding their wives, but their handling thereof is 
not appropriate. They should consult with some reliable Aalim 
or Mufti in their locality and enquire as to how to broach the 
subject and handle the matter with their wives. 
We will discuss a few issues hereunder so as to throw more 
light on the subject. 
1. 
A husband is well aware that his wife falls terribly short 
of fulfilling her Fardh Salaat. She is habitually careless 
regarding her Salaat. Now the husband should not tell her that 
due to her careless attitude she is a 
faasiqah
, or that she is like 
this and that and it is necessary for him to disassociate from 
her, not eat her food, or sleep in her bed. Although all this is 
true, it is by far better if he approaches the matter such: 
“Whenever I enter the home I feel a sense of dread and 
desolateness. I have spoken to a friend of mine one day when I 
happened to stay over at his place and sensed a vibrant and 
happy atmosphere in his home. I realised that they all awaken 
for Tahajjud and perform their Salaats regularly. Do you think 
that it is perhaps we are not careful and particular about our 
ibaadat that our home feels so barren?”
Insha-Allah Ta`ala 
such type of encouragement will set the wife thinking and, 
Allaah Ta`ala willing, she will reflect on her actions and 
perhaps reform herself.
2. 
Another example is perhaps you realise that your wife 
has the habit of studying and ogling at the pictures of people 
and animals in the newspaper and elsewhere. This is 
undoubtedly Haraam and instead of telling her that this act of 
hers is totally Haraam and that you have heard from some 

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into a more grave issue. Eventually the situation become so 
intense that his wife demanded a divorce, which he refused to 
issue. Finally she stopped speaking to him and this stalemate 
lasted for more than a year. He continued supporting her and 
fulfilling her rights yet she did not speak to him. He now asked 
for advice. 
Reply:
It is the order of the Shariah that the husband and wife 
live amicably and with mutual love. They should fulfil the 
rights of each other. If this is not possible then they should 
separate honourably. You have messed up your marriage on 
account of your nephew-in-law. You should not have let that 
affect your marriage. You should have ignored it. It is 
surprising that a whole year has passed and neither you, your 
wife nor your children had tried to resolve the issue or gotten to 
the bottom of it. Although your wife is the greater sinner, 
(because she initiated the silent treatment), nevertheless, the 
fault and cause of all this lies squarely with you. My advice to 
you is that you behave in the home with the best of character 
and disposition. Insha-Allaah Ta`ala this will have a positive 
effect on both your wife and her family. Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) said that the best amongst you is the one who is best 
to his wife. 
It is imperative that we observe Purdah from 
na-mahram
family of the wife, like sisters-in-law, etc. It is the effect of all 
this intermingling and Haraam which falls on our marriages. 
When we displease Allaah Ta`ala, then it has an effect on our 
lives. If we observe Purdah from all such women, then 
whatever they say or comment will not affect us because we 
have no relation or communication with them. 
Insha-Allaah Ta`ala we hope you have understood that to have 
a stern disposition, remain silent (especially when there is a 
need to speak), not to make dua and not to make any attempt at 
reforming your spouse, are all acts of oppression and sin. The 
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responsibility and consequence of this sin and its repercussions 
lie squarely with the husband, because he is supposed to be the 
guide in the home.