All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

Save yourself from…..Why?....How?
There is one other factor which is of utmost importance, and 
that is where in some homes the relationship between the 
spouses may be strained or where the wife is occupied the 
entire day in her household chores and then the husband comes 
and 
shoots 
off 
with 
the 
questions 
of 
Why?...What?...When?...How?...Where?...
The husband has spent his day in the office or shop and the 
poor wife has been at home worked to the bone, cooking, 
cleaning, tending to the children before they go to school, when 
they return, sending them off to Madrasah, doing the washing, 
ironing, etc., etc. And then if the in-laws are also living 
together with the couple then she may have had some run-in 
with the mother-in-law, etc. All these activities tire her out and 
the last thing she would welcome is a barrage of questions from 
the husband…
Why is this not done? When will I get my meal?
Etc. 

---

121
treatment to wives), for my family.”
[Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith 
no. 383] 
In these Ahaadith Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has used 
treatment to wives as the benchmark and yardstick by which a 
man’s Imaan and character is judged. The best man is the one 
who is best to his wife and the worst is the one who mistreats 
his wife.
If a bosom friend of yours asks for a favour, will you refuse 
him? You will not even consider refusing his request. So why 
then do you not heed to the requests of your beloved wife who 
is supposed to be closer to you than even your best friend. 
On the occasion of Hajjatul Wida, Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) gave some advises which were the culmination of all 
his years of effort. Amongst the advices given by Nabi 
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) was, 
“Fear Allaah Ta`ala 
regarding your womenfolk. You have taken them as a trust from 
Allaah Ta`ala, and their bosoms have been made Halaal for 
you by the Kalimah of Allaah Ta`ala.”
[Muslim Shareef, 
Kitaabul Hajj, page 397] 
This Hadith clearly spells out the responsibility men have 
towards their wives, that they are not your slaves to benefit 
from at your whim. You should fear Allaah Ta`ala regarding 
your treatment of them. 
“And remember that the Being of Allah 
Ta`ala is between you and your wives. She has been made 
Halaal for you owing to the decree of Allaah Ta`ala and His 
system. She has been placed in your trust by Allaah Ta`ala. If 
you oppress her then you are breaking the trust and pledge you 
have with Allaah Ta'ala, and you will be the transgressor.”
It is stated in a Hadith, 
“It has been reported from Hadhrat Abu 
Hurairah (radhiallahu anhu) that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) said, ‘A woman will not remain consistent with you 
on one habit or disposition, because she is like a rib. If you try 
122
to straighten her, you will break her and if you leave her 
crooked, then you will be able to benefit from her in this state.”
 
That is, women were created with this ‘crookedness’ in them 
and it is part of their natural disposition. In another Hadith it is 
stated that women were created from a crooked rib and if you 
try to straighten her you will break her. It is best to leave her in 
this state and take benefit from her like this, because if you try 
to correct her ‘crookedness’ then you will be leading up the 
path towards divorce. 
Therefore if you have a wife who has a sharp tongue, then the 
best is to bear it with patience and not oppose her or try to 
rectify her. If she realises the folly of her ways, then well and 
good, otherwise leave her on her ways. Maintaining peace and 
sanity in the home depends wholly on following this advice of 
Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). There is no other way. If you 
try any other route, then you will most certainly fail.