All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

“Once I was on a journey with Rasulullah 
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) when we had a race. I beat him 
and won the race. After some time, my body became heavier 
and some years later we had another race and on that occasion 
Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) beat me and came ahead. He 
told me that this was the compensation for the time I beat him.”
[Ma`ariful Hadith, vol. 6, page 85] 
In our present times it is regarded as being contrary to culture 
and the civilised way to race with one’s wife. However that 
same culture does not deem it inappropriate or taboo to race 
with other strange women, whereas we have the beautiful 
Sunnat of Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) in front of us. 
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It is reported in another Hadith that at times when Hadhrat 
Aishah (radhiallahu anha) would drink water from a container 
then Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would take the container 
from her and drink from the same spot she placed her mouth 
on. 
In another narration it is reported that sometimes when Hadhrat 
Aishah (radhiallahu anha) would partake of meat from a bone, 
then Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would take the bone and 
eat therefrom.
What excellent examples for us to learn from. It is reported in a 
Hadith that Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, 
“A believing 
man should not despise a believing woman (his wife), if he 
dislikes something of hers, then there is some other trait of hers 
which he likes.”
[Muslim Shareef, Hadith number 2672] 
When a husband is irritated or upset at his wife, then he should 
not immediately consider 
Talaaq
. He should reflect on her 
good characteristics and appreciate her values. This is amongst 
the qualities of a good Muslim husband and the right of a wife. 
Regarding this, it is stated in the Qur`aan Majeed, 
“And live 
with them (your wives) with goodness. And if you dislike 
(something in) them, then it is possible that you dislike 
something wherein Allaah has placed much good.”
[Surah 
Nisaa] 
It is reported in a Hadith, 
“It has been reported from Hadhrat 
Aishah (radhiallahu anha) who says, ‘Rasulullah (sallallahu 
alayhi wasallam) said, ‘Indeed the most perfect of believers, is 
he who displays the best character and is most kind to his 
wife.’’”
[Sunan Tirmidhi, Kitaabul Imaan, Hadith number 
2538] 
In another Hadith it is stated, 
“It has been reported from 
Hadhrat Aishah (radhiallahu anha) that Rasulullah (sallallahu 
alayhi wasallam) said, ‘The best of you is the one who is best to 
his wife and I am the best amongst you (with regard to 

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treatment to wives), for my family.”
[Sunan Tirmidhi, Hadith 
no. 383] 
In these Ahaadith Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has used 
treatment to wives as the benchmark and yardstick by which a 
man’s Imaan and character is judged. The best man is the one 
who is best to his wife and the worst is the one who mistreats 
his wife.
If a bosom friend of yours asks for a favour, will you refuse 
him? You will not even consider refusing his request. So why 
then do you not heed to the requests of your beloved wife who 
is supposed to be closer to you than even your best friend. 
On the occasion of Hajjatul Wida, Nabi (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) gave some advises which were the culmination of all 
his years of effort. Amongst the advices given by Nabi 
(sallallahu alayhi wasallam) was, 
“Fear Allaah Ta`ala 
regarding your womenfolk. You have taken them as a trust from 
Allaah Ta`ala, and their bosoms have been made Halaal for 
you by the Kalimah of Allaah Ta`ala.”
[Muslim Shareef, 
Kitaabul Hajj, page 397] 
This Hadith clearly spells out the responsibility men have 
towards their wives, that they are not your slaves to benefit 
from at your whim. You should fear Allaah Ta`ala regarding 
your treatment of them. 
“And remember that the Being of Allah 
Ta`ala is between you and your wives. She has been made 
Halaal for you owing to the decree of Allaah Ta`ala and His 
system. She has been placed in your trust by Allaah Ta`ala. If 
you oppress her then you are breaking the trust and pledge you 
have with Allaah Ta'ala, and you will be the transgressor.”
It is stated in a Hadith, 
“It has been reported from Hadhrat Abu 
Hurairah (radhiallahu anhu) that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi 
wasallam) said, ‘A woman will not remain consistent with you 
on one habit or disposition, because she is like a rib. If you try 
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to straighten her, you will break her and if you leave her 
crooked, then you will be able to benefit from her in this state.”
 
That is, women were created with this ‘crookedness’ in them 
and it is part of their natural disposition. In another Hadith it is 
stated that women were created from a crooked rib and if you 
try to straighten her you will break her. It is best to leave her in 
this state and take benefit from her like this, because if you try 
to correct her ‘crookedness’ then you will be leading up the 
path towards divorce. 
Therefore if you have a wife who has a sharp tongue, then the 
best is to bear it with patience and not oppose her or try to 
rectify her. If she realises the folly of her ways, then well and 
good, otherwise leave her on her ways. Maintaining peace and 
sanity in the home depends wholly on following this advice of 
Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). There is no other way. If you 
try any other route, then you will most certainly fail.