All praise is due only to Allaah. We laud Him and beseech His

The remedy for grief at the loss of one’s wife
About 1 ½ to 2 years have passed since I lost my wife and 
became a widower, but I cannot get her out of my mind. I had a 
very intense affection towards my late wife, and have suffered 
such severe grief at her passing that I cannot explain in words. I 
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have completely stopped reciting my 
wazifahs
and duroods and 
even perform my five times daily Salaat with difficulty. I have 
since become financially indebted and have pawned off most of 
my valuables.
Please do make dua for me that I find such a wife who will be a 
means of my forgetting this state. Please do advise me. 
Answer:
Assalaamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakaatuh. I 
make dua for your goodness. You will indeed benefit from 
making Nikah. Even if you do not find a similar wife, you 
should make an effort at remarrying unless you have a strong 
reason not to. [Ibid, page 534] 
Dissension between spouses is the cause of a multitude of 
problems
Dissention and strife between spouses is the root of all conflict 
and discord (in society), that is, it gives rise to many other 
evils. [
Malfoothaat Kamaalat Ashrafiya, page 46
] 
Wives will be better than the 
Hoors 
(damsels of Jannat)
These (worldly) wives will be better and more lovely than the 
Hoors
. To desire beauty is neither contrary to the intellect nor 
tradition, therefore to make dua to unite with one’s wife (in 
Jannat) is also neither contrary to the intellect nor tradition. 
[
Ibid., page 118
] 
The wife is a sincere friend
The following subject matter is that of Hadhrat Moulana 
Abdullah Saheb, an Ustaad of Daarul Uloom Karachi, which 
appeared in the periodical 
Al-Balaagh
. We request that all 
readers remember Hadhrat Moulana in their duas. 
The relationship between husband and wife is two-fold – one is 
very delicate and the other deep. If we look carefully at the 

---

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delicateness of the marriage union, then we will note that there 
is no other relationship as delicate and fine as this. 
The delicacy is finer than that of the spider’s web, where many 
years of union can be broken up in a split second and with one 
utterance. If the couple have a heated argument and the 
husband lets go three ‘bullets’ from his gun of divorce and 
there the story ends, irrevocably. An entire lifetime of union 
and marriage cane be irrevocably broken up in a few moments, 
which will bring nothing other than regret and grief. 
Now what can be done? After the bullet has left the gun, it 
cannot be returned. He has fired the bullet of 
Talaaq
, and now 
there is no return for that bullet. The grief and remorse of the 
wife is one, that of the children another and that of the husband 
another. What can be done now? 
The man should have thought and contemplated the matter 
beforehand. It is possible that the husband may have thought 
that all the years of marriage have strengthened the bond of 
marriage and that the bullet of 
Talaaq
will not break that strong 
bond. But alas, how wrong is he! 
Regardless of how old and strong the relationship may have 
developed to, but the delicacy of the union is the same -- a 
Talaaq
which is given in the initial stages of marriage and that 
which is given many decades after Nikah, has the same effect. 
Nevertheless, just as how a 100-year old kaafir recites the 
Kalimah and becomes a Muslim, so too will the words of 
Talaaq
sever the bond of Nikah, regardless of how old the 
couple may be or how long they may have been married. All 
those years of marriage will be of ceased and they will become 
strangers unto one another. 
Now look at the other aspect of a marriage -- the deep 
relationship. There is nothing more deep or intense than the 
relationship of an old married couple. All the service rendered 
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to you by your wife, can never be replaced by anyone else. All 
the time she spent with her husband cannot be equalled. 
Hadhrat Moulana Ashraf Ali Thaanwi (rahmatullah alayh) 
stated in one lecture,