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wherever
after the funeral
would be this evening. And then Tamaru could give him the message. So Tengo
wouldn’t be coming to the park anytime before that. Plus, it was still light out.
On his death, Leader set this
little one
inside my womb
, she thought.
That’s my
working supposition. Or maybe I should say intuition. Does this mean I’m being
manipulated by the will he left behind, being led to a destination that he established?
Aomame grimaced.
I can’t decide anything. Tamaru surmised that I got pregnant
with the
one who hears the voice
as a result of Leader’s plan. Probably as an air
chrysalis. But why does it have to be
me?
And why does my partner have to be
Tengo?
This was another thing she couldn’t explain.
Be that as it may, things are moving forward around me, even though I can’t figure
out the connections, or sort out the principles at work behind them, or see where
things are headed. I’ve just wound up entangled in it all. Until now, that is
, she told
herself.
Her lips twisted and she grimaced even more.
From now on, things will be different. Nobody else’s will is going to control me
anymore. From now on, I’m going to do things based on one principle alone: my own
will. I’m going to protect this
little one,
whatever it takes. This is my life, and my
child. Somebody else may have programmed it for their own purposes, but there’s no
doubt in my mind that this is Tengo’s and my child. I’ll never hand it over to anyone
else. Never. From here on out, I’m the one in charge. I’m the one who decides what’s
769
good and what’s bad—and which way we’re headed. And people had better
remember that
.
The phone rang the next day, Wednesday, at two in the afternoon.
“I gave him the message,” Tamaru said, as usual omitting any greeting. “He’s in
his apartment now. I talked to him this morning on the phone. He will be at the slide
tonight at precisely seven.”
“Did he remember me?”
“He remembered you well. He seems to have been searching all over for you.”
It was just as Leader said. Tengo is looking for me. That’s all I need to know
.
Aomame’s heart was filled with an indescribable joy. No other words in this world
had any meaning for her.
“He will be bringing something important with him then, as you asked. I’m
guessing that this will include the novel he’s writing.”
“I’m sure of it,” Aomame said.
“I checked around that humble building he lives in. All looks clear to me. No
suspicious characters hanging around. Bobblehead’s apartment is deserted.
Everything’s quiet, but not too quiet. Those guys took care of the article during the
night and left. They probably thought it wouldn’t be good to stay too long. I made
sure of this, so I don’t think I overlooked anything.”
“Good.”
“
Probably
, though, is the operative word here,
at least for now
. The situation is
changing by the moment. And obviously I’m not perfect. I might be overlooking
something important. It is possible that those guys might turn out to be one notch
ahead of me.”
“Which is why it all comes down to me needing to protect myself.”
“As I said.”
“Thank you for everything. I’m very grateful to you.”
“I don’t know what you plan to do from now on,” Tamaru said, “but if you do go
somewhere far away, and I never see you again, I know I’ll feel a little sad. You’re a
rare sort of character, a type I’ve seldom come across before.”
Aomame smiled into the phone. “That’s pretty much the impression I wanted to
leave you with.”
“Madame needs you. Not for the work you do, but on a personal level, as a
companion. So I know she feels quite sad that she has to say good-bye like this. She
can’t come to the phone now. I hope you’ll understand.”
“I do,” Aomame said. “I might have trouble, too, if I had to talk with her.”
“You said you’re going far away,” Tamaru said. “How far away are we talking
about?”
“It’s a distance that can’t be measured.”
“Like the distance that separates one person’s heart from another’s.”
Aomame closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was on the verge of tears, but
was able to hold it together.
“I’m praying that everything will go well,” Tamaru said quietly.
“I’m sorry, but I may have to hold on to the Heckler & Koch,” Aomame said.
770
“That’s fine. It’s my gift to you. If it gets troublesome to have, just toss it into
Tokyo Bay. The world will take one small step closer to disarmament.”
“I might end up never firing the pistol. Contrary to Chekhov’s principle.”
“That’s fine, too,” Tamaru said. “Nothing could be better than not firing it. We’re
drawing close to the end of the twentieth century. Things are different from back in
Chekhov’s time. No more horse-drawn carriages, no more women in corsets.
Somehow the world survived the Nazis, the atomic bomb, and modern music. Even
the way novels are composed has changed drastically. So it’s nothing to worry about.
But I do have a question. You and Tengo are going to meet on the slide tonight at
seven.”
“If things work out,” Aomame said.
“If you do see him, what are you going to do there?”
“We’re going to look at the moon.”
“Very romantic,” Tamaru said, gently.
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