717
“He and I were in the same class in elementary school. And I believe he’s the
father of my baby. But I can’t explain any more beyond that. It’s very—how should I
put it?—personal.”
On the other end of the phone she heard a ballpoint pen tapping on a desk. That
was the only sound she could hear.
“Personal,” Tamaru repeated, in a voice that sounded like he had spied some weird
creature on top of a rock in a garden.
“I’m sorry,” Aomame said.
“I understand. It’s a very personal thing. I won’t ask anymore,” Tamaru said. “So,
specifically, what do you want from me?”
“Well, the first thing I would like to know is if the Kawana who lives in that
building is actually Tengo Kawana. If it were possible, I would
like to make sure of
that myself, but it’s too risky to go there again.”
“Agreed.”
“And Bobblehead is probably holed up somewhere in that building, planning
something. If he’s getting close to locating me, we have to do something about it.”
“He already knows a certain amount about the connection between you and the
dowager. He has painstakingly hauled in these various leads and is trying to tie them
all together. We can’t ignore him.”
“I have one other request of you,” Aomame said.
“Go ahead.”
“If it is really Tengo Kawana living there, I don’t want any harm to come to him. If
it’s unavoidable that he is going to get hurt, then I want to take his place.”
Tamaru was silent again for a time. No more ballpoint pen tapping this time. There
were
no sounds at all, in fact. He was considering things in a world devoid of sound.
“I think I can take care of the first two requests,” Tamaru said. “That’s part of my
job. But I can’t say anything about the third. It involves very personal things, and
there’s too much about it I don’t understand. Speaking from experience, taking care of
three items at once isn’t easy. Like it or not, you end up prioritizing.”
“I don’t mind. You can prioritize them however you like. I just want you to keep
this in mind: while I’m still alive, I have to meet Tengo. There’s something I have to
tell him.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Tamaru said. “While there’s
still spare room in my mind,
that is.”
“Thank you.”
“I have to report what you have told me to the dowager. This is a rather delicate
issue, and I can’t decide things on my own. So I’ll hang up for now. Listen—do not
go outside anymore. Lock the door and stay put. If you go outside, it could cause
problems. Maybe it already has.”
“But it helped me find out a few things about him.”
“All right,” Tamaru said, sounding resigned. “From what you have told me, it
sounds like you did an excellent job. I’ll admit that. But don’t let your guard down.
We don’t know yet what he’s got up his sleeve. And considering the situation, most
likely he has an organization behind him. Do you still have the thing I gave you?”
“Of course.”
“Best to keep it nearby.”
718
“Will do.”
A short pause, then the phone connection went dead.
Aomame sank back into the bathtub, which she had filled to the brim, and while she
warmed up, she thought about Tengo—the Tengo who might or might not
be living in
an apartment in that old building. She pictured the uninviting steel door, the slot for
the name card, the name
Kawana
printed on the card.
What kind of place was beyond
that door? And what kind of life was he living?
In the hot water she touched her breasts, rubbing them. Her nipples had grown
larger
and harder than before, and more sensitive.
I wish these were Tengo’s hands
instead of mine
, she thought. She imagined his hands, large and warm. Strong, but
surely gentle. If her breasts were enveloped in his hands—how much joy, and peace,
she would feel. Aomame also noticed that her breasts were now slightly larger. It was
no illusion. They definitely were swollen, the curves softer.
It’s probably due to my
pregnancy. Or maybe they just got bigger, unrelated to being pregnant. One aspect of
my transformation
.
She put her hands on her abdomen. It
was still barely swollen, and she didn’t have
any morning sickness, for some reason. But there was a
little one
hidden within. She
knew it.
Wait a moment
, she thought.
Maybe they’re not after my life, but after this
little one
? As revenge for me killing Leader, are they trying to get to it, along with
me?
The thought made her shudder. Aomame was doubly
determined now to see
Tengo. Together, the two of them had to protect the
little one. I have had so many
precious things stolen from me in my life. But this is one I am going to hold on to
.
She went to bed and read for a while, but sleep didn’t come. She shut her book,
and gently rolled into a ball to protect her abdomen. With her cheek against the
pillow, she thought of the winter moon in the sky above the park,
and the little green
moon beside it.
Maza
and
dohta
. The mixed light of the two moons bathing the bare
branches of the zelkova tree. At this very moment Tamaru must be figuring out a
plan, his mind racing at top speed. She could see him, brows knit, tip of his ballpoint
pen tapping furiously on the desktop. Eventually, as if led by that monotonous,
ceaseless rhythm, the soft blanket of sleep wrapped itself around her.
