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Thirdly, Mr. Ushikawa, I personally don’t want to have anything to do with you.
Fourthly, no matter how you look at it, there’s something fishy about this grant. It just
sounds too good to be true. There’s something going on behind the scenes. I certainly
don’t have the best intuition in the world, but I can tell that much from the smell
.
Tengo, of course, said none of this.
“I see,” Ushikawa said, filling his lungs with cigarette smoke and exhaling with a
look of deep satisfaction. “I see. I think, in my own way, I understand your view of
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the matter. What you say is quite logical. But really, Mr. Kawana, there is no need for
you to give me your answer right now. Why don’t you go home and take a good two
or three days to think it over? Take more time to reach your conclusion. We’re not in
any hurry. It’s not a bad offer.”
Tengo gave his head a decisive shake. “Thank you, that’s very kind, but it will
save us both a lot of time and trouble if we reach a final decision today. I am honored
to have been nominated for a grant, and I’m sorry to have put you to the trouble of
making a special trip here, but I’m afraid I will have to decline. This is my final
conclusion, and there is no possibility that I would reconsider.”
Ushikawa nodded a few times and regretfully used the ashtray to crush out the
cigarette, from which he had taken only two puffs.
“That’s fine, Mr. Kawana. I see where you are coming from, and I want to respect
your wishes. I am sorry for having taken up your time. It’s unfortunate, but I will have
to resign myself to it. I will be going now.”
But Ushikawa showed no sign of standing up. He simply treated the back of his
head to a thorough scratching and looked at Tengo with narrowed eyes.
“However, Mr. Kawana, you yourself may not be aware of it, but people are
expecting great things from you as a writer. You have talent. Mathematics and
literature probably have no direct connection, but listening to you lecture on
mathematics is like listening to someone tell a story. This is not something that any
ordinary person can do. You have something special that needs to be told. That is
clear even to the likes of me. So be sure to take care of yourself. Forgive me if I am
being oversolicitous, but please try not to become embroiled in extraneous matters,
and make up your mind to walk straight down your own path in life.”
“Extraneous matters?” Tengo asked.
“For example, you seem to have—how should I put this?—some sort of
connection with Miss Eriko Fukada, the author of
Air Chrysalis
. Or at least you have
met her a few times, am I correct? By coincidence, I just happened to read in today’s
paper that she has apparently disappeared. The media will have a field day with this
delicious item, I’m sure.”
“Assuming I have met Eriko Fukada, is that supposed to mean something?”
Again Ushikawa raised his hand to stop Tengo. It was a small hand, but the fingers
were short and stubby. “Now, now, please don’t get worked up over this. I don’t mean
any harm. All I am trying to say is that selling off one’s talents and time in dribs and
drabs to make ends meet never produces good results. It may sound presumptuous of
me to say this, but your talent is a genuine diamond in the rough, and I don’t want to
see it wasted and ruined on pointless things. If the relationship between you and Miss
Fukada becomes public knowledge, Mr. Kawana, someone is bound to seek you out
at home. They’ll start stalking you, and they’ll turn up all kinds of half-truths. They’re
a persistent bunch.”
Tengo stared at Ushikawa, saying nothing. Ushikawa narrowed his eyes and
started scratching one of his big earlobes. The ears themselves were small, but
Ushikawa’s earlobes were strangely big. Ushikawa’s physical oddities were an
unending source of fascination.
“Now, don’t get the wrong idea. My lips are sealed,” Ushikawa said, gesturing as
if zipping his mouth closed. “I promise you that. I may not look it, but I know how to
297
keep a secret. People say I must have been a clam in a previous life. I’ll keep this
matter locked up inside as a sign of my personal regard for you. No one else will
know.”
Finally he stood up and made several attempts to smooth out the tiny wrinkles in
his suit but succeeded only in making them more obvious.
“If you should change your mind about the grant, please call the number on my
card whenever you feel like it. There is still plenty of time. If this year is no good for
you, well, there’s always next year.” With raised index fingers, Ushikawa mimed the
earth revolving around the sun. “We are in no hurry. At least I succeeded in meeting
you and having this little talk with you, and I believe that you have gotten our
message.”
After one more smile, all but flaunting his ruined dentition, Ushikawa turned and
left the reception room.
Tengo used the time until his next class to think through Ushikawa’s remarks in his
head. The man seemed to know that Tengo had participated in the rewrite of
Air
Chrysalis
. There were hints of it everywhere in his speech.
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