After the quake blind willow, sleeping woman dance dance dance

Am I seeing this pregnancy as something good, something to be welcomed? Or 
as something unwelcome, something inappropriate?
I can’t reach a conclusion no matter how hard I think about it. I’m still in a state 
of shock. I’m mixed up, confused. In certain ways I feel split in two. And 
understandably I’m having trouble swallowing this new reality
. 
Yet Aomame also had to recognize that she was watching this little heat source 
with a positive sense of anticipation. She simply had to see what happened to this 
thing growing inside her. Obviously she was anxious and scared. 
It
might be more 
than she could imagine. It might be a hostile foreign entity that greedily devoured her 
from the inside. She could imagine all sorts of negative possibilities. But she was in 
thrall to a healthy curiosity. Like a sudden flash of light in the dark, a thought 
abruptly sprang to her mind. 
Maybe this is Tengo’s child inside my womb
. 
Aomame frowned a bit and considered this. 
Why do I have to be pregnant with 
Tengo’s child?
How about looking at it like this?
she thought. 
On that chaotic night, when so 
much took place, some process was at work in this world and Tengo sent his semen 
into my womb. Somehow, through a gap in the thunder and rain, the darkness and the 
murder, a special kind of passageway opened, through some logic I can’t understand. 
Just for an instant. And in that instant we took advantage of the passageway. I took 
that opportunity to greedily accept Tengo into me. I became pregnant. Egg 201—or 
was it 202?—grabbed onto one of his millions of spermatozoa, a single sperm cell 
that was as healthy and clever and straightforward as the one who produced it
. 
That’s a pretty wild idea. It doesn’t make any sense. I could try to explain it until I 
went hoarse and nobody would ever believe me. But the whole notion of me being 
pregnant itself doesn’t make any sense. But remember—this is the year 1Q84. A 
strange world where anything can happen
.