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example, I know that, even now, you think of Tengo when you masturbate. You
picture him. I am right about that, aren’t I?”
Aomame let her mouth fall open slightly, but she was at a total loss for words. All
she did was take one shallow breath after another.
The man went on, “It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is a natural human function.
Tengo does the same thing. He thinks of you at those times, even now.”
“But
how
could you possibly …?”
“How could I possibly know such things? By listening closely. That is my job—to
listen to the voices.”
She wanted to laugh out loud, and, simultaneously, she wanted to cry. But she
could do neither. She could only stay transfixed, somewhere between the two,
inclining her center of gravity in neither direction, at a loss for words.
“You need not be afraid,” the man said.
“Afraid?”
“You are afraid, just as the people of the Vatican were afraid to accept the
Copernican theory. Not even they believed in the infallibility of the Ptolemaic theory.
They were afraid of the new situation that would prevail if they accepted the
Copernican theory. They were afraid of having to reorder their minds to accept it.
Strictly speaking, the Catholic Church has still not publicly accepted the Copernican
theory. You are like them. You are afraid of having to shed the armor with which you
have long defended yourself.”
Aomame covered her face with her hands and let out several convulsive sobs. This
was not what she wanted to do, but she was unable to stop herself. She would have
preferred to appear to be laughing, but that was out of the question.
“You and Tengo were, so to speak, carried into this world on the same train,” the
man said softly. “By teaming up with my daughter, Tengo took steps against the Little
People, and you are trying to obliterate me for other reasons. In other words, each of
you, in your own way, is doing something dangerous in a very dangerous place.”
“And you are saying that some kind of
will
wanted us to do these things?”
“Perhaps.”
“For what conceivable purpose?” No sooner had the question left her mouth than
Aomame realized it was pointless. There was no hope she would ever receive a reply.
“The most welcome resolution would be for the two of you to meet somewhere
and leave this world hand in hand,” the man said, without answering her question.
“But that would not be an easy thing to do.”
“Not be an easy thing to do,” Aomame repeated his words unconsciously.
“Not an easy thing to do, and, sad to say, that is putting it as mildly as possible. In
fact, it is just about impossible. The adversary that you two are facing, whatever you
care to call it, is a fierce power.”
“So then—” Aomame said, her voice dry. She cleared her throat. By now she had
overcome her confusion.
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