Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

Why Men Do
What They Do
PART TWO

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5
F i r s t T h i n g s F i r s t
W
e were doing the 
Steve Harvey Morning Show
live by 
remote in Detroit, and a woman came up to the 
podium to say hello to me and the crew—a really 
attractive girl, nicely dressed, with beautiful dark skin, pretty 
white teeth, gorgeous body, really put together all around. And 
when she started talking, she really threw me because I could 
hear in her voice that she was mature, but she just didn’t look 
like she sounded. So I asked the lady how old she was; she said 
she was forty-two. Blew me away. I didn’t think she was a day 
older than thirty. Then I asked her how many kids she had. 
“Five,” she said, smiling from ear to ear. “I’ve got three of my 
own, and I adopted two.”

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Now I’m sitting here thinking, wow—that’s really slick. 
She’s over age forty, she’s taking care of not only the kids she 
gave birth to, but two more she took in out of the kindness and 
generosity of her heart, and she looks years younger than she 
really is—she’s really got it going on. Be clear: I wasn’t about to 
do anything with this information because guess what? I’m a 
happily married man—emphasis on happily. But some years 
ago, that conversation would have gone down a wholly differ-
ent way, and it would not have involved me asking her anything 
about her kids, where she works, how she’s living—none of 
that.
But a guy who was all in her space while we continued 
doing our show—that’s another story. He clearly had plans for 
this lady. You could tell just by the way he was leaning into her, 
hanging on her every word. Oh, he was talking to her like 
there weren’t hundreds of people surrounding them—like my 
cohost and I weren’t in the middle of a show. I knew what he 
was trying to get to. But clearly, 
she
had no clue.
In front of everyone during a commercial break, I asked her, 
“What does 
he
want?”
She laughed and gave me a confused look. “Nothing,” she 
giggled. “We’re just making small talk.” Mind you, the guy 
trying to talk to her isn’t saying a word. He knows that I know. 
And after a few more commercial breaks, and a lot more of his 
obvious moves, I finally told her he was looking for much more 
than a simple conversation.

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“He wants something from you,” I said. “I can prove it to 
you.”
Now the crowd, full of mostly women, is goading me on. 
“Here’s the deal,” I said. “Turn around right now, look in his 
face, and do not take your eyes off his eyes. Now tell him how 
many kids you got and watch his reaction.”
The man seemed calm until she got to the word 
five
. He 
reeled back like a spooked horse; his whole facial structure 
changed, and even though he covered his mouth, he couldn’t 
keep his surprised, “Ooh,” from escaping his lips.
He couldn’t get away from her fast enough. The next break, 
he was down on the other end of the venue—fifty feet away, in 
some other woman’s face. See, he wanted something from her, 
but that something didn’t include five kids. He had a good job, 
he appeared intelligent. He had told me he was making good 
money; clearly, however, he couldn’t foresee his money split 
those many ways. When he was flirting with this woman, all he 
envisioned was he and her getting down to it, no strings 
attached.
My cohost just laughed and laughed and asked me how I 
knew all of this. It’s easy: when a man approaches you, he has a 
plan. And the main plan is to sleep with you, or to find out 
what it takes to sleep with you.
Here’s a generalization but in my experience, it’s true. 
Women love to sit and talk for no apparent reason but to talk, 
but we men, we’re just not cut out to chitchat for the sake of 

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chitchat—we don’t have time for it. We men are very simple 
people: if we like what we see, we’re coming over there. If we 
don’t want anything from you, we’re not coming over there. 
Period. Please highlight this part right here so you can always 
remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always 
wants something.