A step by step tool for top achievers

Step 8: Be a Good Listener
Ask yourself these questions. How does it make you feel when you wanted somebody to
listen to you and
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They did more talking than listening?
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They disagreed with the first thing you said.
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They interrupted you at every step.
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They were impatient and completed every sentence you started.
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They were physically present but mentally absent.
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They heard but didn't listen. You had to repeat the same thing three times because
the other person wasn't listening.
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They came to conclusions unrelated to facts.
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They asked questions on unrelated topics.
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They were fidgety and distracted.
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They were obviously not listening or paying attention.
All these things show disinterest in the person or the topic and a total lack of courtesy.

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Do the following words describe the feeling of not being listened to?
Neglected 
Belittled
Rejected 
Annoyed
Dejected 
Stupid
Let down 
Worthless
Unimportant 
Embarrassed
Small 
Demotivated
Ignored 
Disheartened
Let's reverse the scenario. How does it make you feel when you want someone to listen
to you and they
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make you comfortable.
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give you their undivided attention.
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ask appropriate and relevant questions.
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show interest in your subject.
Do the following words describe the feeling of being listened to?
Important 
Good
Pleased 
Happy
Satisfied 
Appreciated
Worthwhile 
Encouraged
Cared for 
Inspired
What are some of the barriers to effective listening?
External Barriers     
Internal Barriers
physical distractions 
preoccupation or absent-mindedness
noise             
prejudice and prejudging people 
fatigue
           no interest in subject or speaker
There could be intellectual barriers, such as language, comprehension, etc. In order to
inspire others to speak, be a good listener.
Listening shows caring. When you show a caring attitude toward another person, that
person feels important. When he feels important, what happens? He is more motivated
and more receptive to your ideas.
An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart.
--David Augsburger

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In order to be a good listener:
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Encourage the speaker to talk.
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Ask questions. It shows interest.
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Don't interrupt.
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Don't change the topic.
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Show understanding and respect.
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Pay attention, concentrate.
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Avoid distractions.
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Show empathy.
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Be open-minded. Don't let preconceived ideas and prejudices prevent you from
listening.
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Concentrate on the message and not on the delivery. Recognize the nonverbal
communication, such as facial expressions, eye contact, etc. They might be
communicating a different message from the verbal.
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Listen to feelings and not just words.