42
“Addressing injustices”
Mathew Griffin
Brown University
mY rEASoNS For wANTING To BE
a doctor are very similar to why
most people choose their career path: I want to make things fairer.
People such as social workers are out to help make the world a little
less unjust. It’s not necessarily injustice from other people that I want to
fight as these people do, but injustice from other factors. Many people
who are close to me have been struck down from their future in ways
that it’s impossible for them to recover. My aunt was a great artist and
loving mother before she developed severe schizophrenia. She now
locks herself in her house for weeks at a time and remains isolated
from her family. My friend Eric, who was once in his school’s varsity
basketball league, cannot play his senior season because a car acci-
dent left him nearly paralyzed. Finally, my friend vince’s depression has
stripped him of his will to live, and despite attempts of over a dozen
psychiatrists and medications he still spends most of his days aimlessly
lying in bed. While I try very hard to cheer him up by talking to and
entertaining him I am deeply concerned about his future. This trend is
something that I’m seeing almost everywhere. More and more people
are becoming depressed and hopeless, and I want to be able to put life
and happiness back into them.
not only do I see these injustices in my life, when I’m volunteer-
ing at my local hospital my desire to help become even more embold-
ened by the people I meet. A new grandmother I met recently had
her spine shattered when she fell from a ladder back onto a table. As I
talked to her, I remembered how many times I’ve seen pictures of my
grandmother lifting me and my cousins and caring for us, and became
overcome with emotion. While I don’t believe her ability to care for her
grandchildren will be destroyed, I know that she won’t have the same
opportunities as other grandparents and the inequality of the situation
makes me extremely upset. I want nothing more than to give back her
ability to walk and lift her grandkids. I believe being a doctor can allow
me to bring this closer.
Chapter 5: Career
43
AnAlysis
This essay demonstrates Mathew’s commitment to social justice.
Rather than making justice an abstract or philosophical issue, the es-
say shows us how it is directly relevant to Mathew’s life by giving this
injustice many faces: those of his aunt, his friends Eric and Vince, as
well as the people he has met through volunteerism. While a long list
of these people probably would not be interesting to read, Mathew
has fit them into his essay as characters in stories. He does this by
keeping the personal profiles distinct (his aunt has schizophrenia, Eric
was paralyzed in a car accident, Vince is depressed). Furthermore,
the organization of this short essay helps separate the people about
whom he writes into two categories: 1) those who are close to him
and 2) those who are in the wider community. In this way, Mathew
shows the influences that are closest to home before branching out to
the bigger community. As Mathew’s essay demonstrates, writing about
one’s personal experiences is an effective way to rein in a topic as all-
encompassing as justice.
The beginning of Mathew’s essay makes a generalization. He
states, “My reasons for wanting to be a doctor are very similar to why
most people choose their career path: I want to make things fairer.”
Mathew might have started with simply: “I want to make things fairer.”
Since the essay questions specifically ask why he is interested in med-
icine, referencing all professions and careers beyond medicine broad-
ens the scope of the answer rather than narrowing it. Furthermore, it is
best to avoid sweeping generalizations in order to respect the plurality
of beliefs in the world. For instance, many people may not choose their
career paths to make things fairer; some may be motivated by money
or fame. “Things” is also a bit vague, as is the phrase “other factors”—
Mathew’s might have clarified these terms so we can have a stronger
sense of what sources of injustice he is hoping to fight.
Mathew takes advantage of the essay prompt to write about his
volunteer work at a recent hospital. His story about the grandmother
he met is heart-touching because Mathew is willing to share his per-
sonal reaction: “As I talked to her, I remembered how many times I’ve
seen pictures of my grandmother lifting me and my cousins and caring
for us, and I became overcome with emotion.” This gives us a sense of
Mathew’s deep sense of caring for others.
50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays
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