5 Exercises You Can Do Today To Let Go Of Your Painful Past
Are you haunted by your past? Is there a memory or a series of memories that
you can’t seem to let go of? Many people still play past memories in their head and feel
the feelings of those experiences with the same intensity as if the event were happening
now.
Perhaps your parents or some other significant person in your life abused you.
This abuse could have been physical abuse, where you were hit or kicked with no or
little provocation. Maybe you grew up with an alcoholic parent who would single you out
while drunk and take their frustrations out on you.
Abuse
doesn’t always have to be physical to hurt – emotional abuse can be just
as painful. Maybe while you were growing up you were blamed for everything while your
siblings were treated as if they were perfect and could do no wrong. Maybe you grew up
with a parent who was away from home all the time so they
were unavailable when you
needed them. You may have experienced a painful parental divorce where you felt that
you were to blame for the breakup.
Were you bullied at school? Bullying can take the form of physical aggression, or
it can take the form of relational aggression such as being ostracized from a group of
people who were your friends or perhaps having rumors spread about you that were
completely untrue.
Other bad memories might include losing a job you liked, sustaining an injury that
caused you to have to change you career and life plans, or a chain of failures in
relationships that make it hard to have positive and fulfilling relationships now.
Do you live with a lot of guilt? Maybe you were raised in an environment where
you were chastised for every mistake you made. Maybe you remember hurting
someone and now you wonder if they are scarred for life. If you have this
kind of
memory, you need to take care of yourself and shed the guilt.
Healing your memories does not have to be long and complicated. Below I have
included 5 simple exercises to help you rid yourself of the painful and tortuous feelings
that you are experiencing because of past memories. Whether you have the kind of
painful memories described in this article or different ones, these five exercises can help
you get rid of the pain.
Someone might ask,
“How do you get rid of a memory?”
Erasing memories is
not the purpose of the following exercises. The goal instead is to be free from the pain
caused by the memories. You are likely to remember any life incident that had a strong
emotional impact on you at the time that the incident occurred. The emotions that you
felt at that time were so strong that you can feel them now even though the threat or
perceived threat is gone. If you follow through with the exercises below and are able to
rid yourself of those negative and painful feelings, it will not matter if the memory
surfaces again. You will not have the sad, angry, or anxious
feelings and those
memories can no longer haunt you.
I know from experience
that what I’ve just said is true as I can remember every
day of my life since I was six years old. I can remember the day of the week and the
corresponding date, the weather, the news, and all of my own personal experiences.
Every bad day, every slight and offense, and every romantic
breakup is lodged in my
memory never to go away. Through my training in psychology (I am now a Licensed
Professional Counselor and Life Coach) and through my own perseverance with the
exercises that I’m going to share with you, I have learned how to get rid of the painful
feelings from the past even though the memories remain.
Even if you do not remember every small
detail or day of your life, I have no
doubt that you have at least a few memories of experiences that make you depressed,
anxious, or angry when you think about them. Some people reading this may even
struggle with chronic depression, fatigue caused by constant worry
and anxiety, or
anger issues because of the painful memories from their past. All of this can be helped
by healing your past memories.
I have had countless people in my counseling and coaching practice heal
themselves by healing past memories using the following exercises.
