08. Is the prospect of online dating, being set up by friends, and
generally putting yourself out there less comfortable than the
idea that you could possibly spend the next few years (or
longer) by yourself?
09. Are you open about the fact that you’re looking for love? If
you’re trying to play it like you’re cool being single, you’re
going to miss out on a lot of opportunities to meet friends of
friends, simply because they don’t know you’re willing.
10. What makes you happy, aside from affection from other
people?
11. If you decided to take control of your relationship destiny
today, as opposed to just waiting for it to “happen” when it’s
“meant” to, what would you start doing differently?
12. Do you think a great relationship
is something you find, or
something you develop and strengthen over time?
13. Do you believe that people who are more beautiful,
successful, smart, talented, or in other ways superior have
more love than you ever could?
14. Have you ever taken an honest look at the people around you
who have love, and evaluated them on that same scale of
attractiveness and intelligence and superiority?
15. If you did that, what would you find?
16. Would it blow your mind to learn that relationships aren’t just
nice, they are the stitching that
keeps the patchwork of this
entire damn world together, and that spending as much time
and energy on them as you would anything else that matters
would not only be essential, but crucial to you fulfilling your
highest purpose as a human being?
17. Would it blow your mind to learn that even people who are
surrounded by friends, in seemingly “happy” relationships,
with families to return to every
holiday and then some are
sometimes still cripplingly lonely, because it’s a matter of how
you connect, not who you have around?
18. Are you aware of what your needs are in a long-term
relationship?
19. Are you willing to advocate for those needs if they aren’t
being met, or would you forgo doing so for the sake of
seeming more likable to your partner?
20. If you find the relationship you’ve been dreaming of, and then
it doesn’t work out, what would your game plan be?
21. Would it surprise you to know that the most overlooked key to
a happy, healthy relationship is the belief that even if said
relationship dissolved, you could still carry on as a
functioning, thriving human being?
22. Could it be possible that you’re not alone right now because
you’re
broken or unlovable, but because there is something
profound and divine that you must discover, and it is only
knowable through solitude?
23. If you knew that the love of your life was on their way, and
that this time in your life was only temporary, what would you
do with the nights you have alone? What would you invest
your efforts in? Writing your
book or scrolling through
Facebook? Developing relationships with friends or envying
people who have love? Learning to meditate or taking a swig
of wine every time you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable?
24. Do you assume other people are doing you a favor by giving
you love and spending time with you?
25. Do you ever think about the fact that they likely are just as
hungry for love?
26. Do you ever think about what you can *give* to a relationship,
as opposed to what you want to take?
27. Are you committed to a lifetime of growing with, and
alongside, another human being, or is your mental image of
love something that allows, and supports,
unconditional
acceptance that is, in reality, complacency?
28. Are you willing, or ready, to let go of every preconceived
notion you had about how love would come, what it would
look like, and what your partner would be like? (You need to.)
29. What are you willing to suffer for in this life? You suffer over
your fears,
your thoughts, your work…what about the one
thing that’s actually worth it? Are you willing to give it your all,
fail a few times, and then reach the end (love, commitment)
only to find that dating was the walk before the run, the
beginning of the real work?
30. Are you ready to let it gut you and help make you the person
you were intended to be?
