101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think

that are only
HOLDING 
YOU BACK
01. If you work hard enough, success is a guarantee. Most
people are rarely “successful” in the way they first set out to
be. Rather than work toward an end goal, work toward liking
the process of getting there. Whether success is a product of
chance or fate, all you can control is how much work you put
in (not exactly what comes out).
02. Wanting something badly enough qualifies you to have it.
Nobody ever got anything from just wanting it badly enough.
You have to want it badly enough to sacrifice, and to work
hard, become qualified, keep your head up through tons of
rejection and doubt, and then rinse/repeat for as long as it
takes.
03. You’ll be the exception to everything, so you don’t have to
wear sunscreen or save money, or worry about your
retirement plan or treat people respectfully, because your
circumstances are just different than everyone else’s.
04. You’re a celebrity in your own mind—everyone is watching
you and judging your choices. The “spotlight complex” is
undoubtedly linked to social media, but regardless, nobody is
thinking about you the way you are thinking about you, nor
nearly as much. Nobody cares if you wear an unflattering
shirt out to the pharmacy. Nobody really cares what you do
with your life, so stop making choices as though they do.

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05. If you’re doing something right, results will be instantaneous.
If you’re doing something right, the results will take a very
long time to build up and produce an outcome you’re happy
with.
06. “Busyness” is a good thing. Being busy is what happens
when people are ill equipped to manage their stress. People
who actually have a lot to do focus on getting it done simply
because they don’t have another choice.
07. There’s a “right time” to create. Or get married, or have a
child, or start pursuing the life you feel called to. If you’re
looking for an excuse as to why it’s not the right time, you’ll
always find one.
08. Adulthood is “hard.” There are lots of things that are
challenging and heartbreaking and trying in life, but learning
how to perform basic functions is not one of them.
09. Your purpose is something existentially profound. Your
purpose is just to be here and to do whatever job you find
yourself doing. You don’t have to be consciously changing the
world to fulfill it.
10. Everybody can have a job they love if they work hard enough.
Everybody can find a way to enjoy their job—regardless of
the inevitable challenges that come with any job—but nobody
is entitled to do work that happens to fit precisely within their
realm of interest and comfort.
11. You’re not responsible for that which you do unintentionally.
Accidentally hurting someone’s feelings doesn’t really hurt
them; time you don’t realize wasting isn’t wasted; money
spent on “necessities” isn’t money spent. Essentially, if you
aren’t conscious of the repercussions of something, they
don’t count.
12. Your life partner is responsible for making you feel one very
specific way. And you use that singular feeling to determine
whether or not your relationship is “good” or worthwhile.

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13. To accept something, you must be happy about it, or at least
okay with it. You can accept your circumstances
(acknowledge they are real) while still disliking them strongly.
You don’t have to like everything, but if you want to preserve
your sanity, you have to accept whatever comes into your life
before you can change it.
14. People are ruminating on the embarrassing stuff you did five
years ago. They’re busy ruminating on their own stuff the
same way you are. (Are you thinking about things other
people did over the years to any significant degree? It’s
unlikely.)
15. You must be “right” to be a valid, intelligent human being.
Really the most intelligent people are more open to being
wrong than anyone (that’s how they learn) but regardless, you
do not need to be consistently right or exceedingly smart or
stunningly beautiful or anything else to be worthwhile and
lovable.
16. You are your struggles. You say, “I am an anxious person”
rather than “I sometimes feel anxiety.” You identify with your
problems, which is likely a huge reason why you can’t
overcome them.
17. You can only be as happy as your circumstances allow. You
will only be as happy as you choose to focus on what’s
positive, reconcile and problem-solve what’s negative, build
the relationships that matter, validate yourself, and develop
your mindset. You cannot choose a feeling, but you can
always choose what you think about. Rejecting the idea that
you can do so is to submit and doom yourself to a life in
which you are never truly happy at all.

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HOW TO BECOME